


Trial for Survival

by MusicLover19



Series: UA Stories [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Gen, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jewish Dave (Umbrella Academy), Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, M/M, More Hurt Than Comfort, Overdose, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Reginald’s A+ Parenting, Relapse, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, To An Extent, all tags revolving around Klaus, but he doesn’t die-die, do not copy to another site, does major death apply? probably, immortal Klaus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicLover19/pseuds/MusicLover19
Summary: Five’s attempt to jump back in time worked. The siblings were young again, but they remembered their past - or their possible future. They agreed to work together and keep the world safe. Ben was alive and they wanted to keep Vanya sane and trained. Will working together as a family be the way forward to stop the Apocalypse, or is the end of the world truly inevitable?Or; Klaus didn’t mean to offer himself up to his father’s training. He had promised to stay away from drugs, and his abilities were showing signs of development. His father had always wanted Klaus to live up to his potential, and his praise eased something broken inside of Klaus’ chest.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves
Series: UA Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648540
Comments: 131
Kudos: 687





	1. The Landing

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! This is a lot later than I expected to post any of this story but it's happening. So far, I have 48 chapters planned out and ready to be written, as I write them up fully, I might end up adding a few or taking a few away, but that's what I'm aiming towards at the moment. I'll try to stick to a Monday release as well.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy.

It was surreal seeing his siblings de-age in front of him. They were surrounded by a blue haze, but beyond that haze, the world seemed to spin and twist around them. It made Klaus nauseated, but that could have been partly due to the withdrawal he was still experiencing. He was still both too warm and too cold, shivering and sweating all at once, but at least the shaking had slowed in his limbs.

It was strange to know that the hand on his shoulder was Ben’s hand, and Klaus could feel the warmth, it was nothing like how it had originally felt. Klaus was used to the ice-cold seeping deeper into his skin when the ghosts got too close. Even practising and trying to pull Ben forward had left Klaus shivering and desperate for someone to share their heat. Ben would have been a good person during his life, he ran warmer than everyone else, while Klaus ran cold. 

The warmth was almost burning, and Klaus refused to feel hopeful. Even when the siblings collapsed onto the floor, the debris clear and the hall around them still intact. Klaus could still feel the faint heat behind him, and he could hear Ben’s ragged breathing. Ben didn’t need to breathe, although he often did. It had been calming in the rough nights, hearing Ben’s breath and being able to know he wasn’t alone. He had enjoyed that fantasy of not being alone.

“Is everyone alright?” Luther asked, and wasn’t that strange. Klaus remembered how small he used to be, even when they had all turned sixteen, Luther had bulked up, there was no sign of that just yet though, he was lean and baby-faced. His growth spurt hadn’t hit yet. His voice was higher than Klaus remembered it ever being.

There were groans but everyone except Vanya seemed to move and answer positively, as though their training had never faded. If they were asked about their status, they responded positively unless they were dying.

Once Allison had gotten to her knees, she shuffled over to Vanya, brushing her hair aside to check the pulse in her neck.

“Ben?” Diego whispered, he had moved towards Klaus, ready to check on his but he had stopped in his tracks, eyes hovering just behind Klaus.

There was so much emotion in Diego’s voice, as if he hadn’t just seen Ben be his monstrous self, tearing people apart. All of the awake siblings turned to stare at the spot behind Klaus. Even Five’s eyes seemed desperate. Klaus couldn’t bring himself to look, too afraid to see his brother dead again. That hauntingly blue glow from the fight might return, and Klaus didn’t know if he could handle seeing that again.

More mutterings of Ben’s name, and Diego had pushed himself up and staggered past Klaus. Barely giving him a second glance.

Klaus pretended it didn’t sting. He could hear a broken laugh, _Ben’s_ laugh. No doubt Diego pulled him into a hug, and Five and Luther even shuffled their way past Klaus to join whatever Diego was doing. Klaus could see the longing in Allison’s eyes.

Standing on unsteady legs, Klaus refused to look behind him. He made his way over to Vanya, seeing the thick, long hair that had thinned as she grew up. How they hadn’t noticed something had changed in her life. Her hair had changed so much.

“Go, I’ll make sure she’s alright,” Klaus promised and Allison only hesitated for a moment before she took off behind Klaus. Whispers were loud and echoing around him, but Klaus focused on Vanya. Young, sweet Vanya.

She was pale and her chest moved slowly. Checking her pulse, Klaus noted how cold she felt, and how slow her pulse seemed to be moving. They needed to get her warm, he had seen too many people succumb to the cold to know that he should act. Shaking off his blazer, and wasn’t that another blast from the past? Klaus hadn’t worn this uniform for so long, he had promised himself he never would. Wrapping the extra layer over Vanya’s body, he hoped it would be enough.

Looking around the hall they were in, it seemed fresher than it had only moments ago. They were still in the music hall, but considering their appearances, it is possible that they had time travelled, as crazy as that was. Was it crazy? Klaus had time travelled before, Five had time travelled. This wasn’t new or unexpected. Seeing his siblings as children was unexpected, that’s for sure.

“We - we need to move,” Klaus shivered, because even his voice sounded more alive. “How is she?”

“Cold,” was all Klaus could manage to say. He still didn’t want to even look at Ben, not yet.

That warm hand grasped Klaus’ shoulder again and his body relaxed into the warmth.

“Let Luther carry her, just to be safe,” Ben said and the warmth left Klaus’ body as Ben let go of him. Another blazer joined Klaus’ over Vanya’s body. Ben’s warmth doing more for her than Klaus’ cold clothes. “Can you get us back inside?”

“Lead the way Klaus,” Allison said, her voice gentle, and her hands helped him stand, but they weren’t as warm as he needed.

Klaus just nodded, waiting for Luther to gather Vanya in his arms. Allison hovered around, seeming as though she wanted to help. Ben stepped beside Klaus, walking in sync as they had for years and Klaus wondered how long this would last. Diego was behind Luther with Five, half helping the tired teen but also keeping an eye on the world around them. They were still battle-ready.

“Are you ok?” Ben asked. Klaus risked looking at him fully, not just watching out of his peripheral vision. Ben was solid, no hint of blue on his body, and he had a grimace on his face as he often had during his life. An arm subconsciously on his stomach.

If Klaus had been up to acting normal, he’d make a comment on Ben’s non-existent pregnancy, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he just nodded, focusing on the journey back to the Academy. It was a path he walked for years, even after he had left. He had snuck back inside, often with Ben at his side shaking his head.

The group walked in silence, wary and ready for someone to jump out and threaten them.

No one did.

Looking up at the Academy, it seemed so much more daunting to return to. Reginald was still alive, and they had training in the morning.

“Five, can you jump inside and open the door?” Diego asked. It seemed unlikely, since Five was swaying where he stood, but he nodded once and disappeared in a flash of blue. It took a minute, but the door opened slowly, and a paler Five almost fell between the gap.

Ben caught him before Klaus could even consider moving. He had just watched Five fall forward without a thought, but Ben was often the one urging him to act and to help the people that needed it, now he had a body to do it himself.

“Let’s go,” Luther whispered, almost marching forward into the threshold of the house.

They walked slowly through the halls, avoiding the areas they knew would squeak. The stairs had been tricker, and Diego had resorted to carrying Five up them, just so he didn’t topple backwards.

Klaus had already done that before, they knew it wasn’t a fun trip.

Ben nudged Klaus, tilting his head towards the steps as a silent prompt.

Klaus couldn’t explain the hesitance he felt, perhaps it was because he was younger, or that he knew Reginald was around. He didn’t want to risk it in the dark. He had avoided the stairs on his nighttime wanderings, sneaking out of his window when he left for the night. The rest of the siblings had reached the top of the stairs and were frowning down to Klaus in the dark. Even without seeing them, he knew it. He was being an inconvenience because of this unease.

Reaching out to grip the bannister, Klaus took the first step, feeling like a toddler as he touched both feet to each step, holding desperately so he didn’t slip backwards. It felt like a lifetime to reach the top of the stairs, and Ben had never once strayed from his side.

It felt like the beginning of the end, perhaps he was just imagining this, some strange death trip before he met the angry little girl once again.

They made their way into Allison’s room, where Vanya was laid on the bed, and wrapped in a blanket. Allison sat beside her, once again brushing the thick hair away from her face. The colour seemed to be returning to her cheeks.

“We need a plan,” Five pointed out, but he sounded half asleep. He had sunk down to the floor, his back pressed against the wall. He looked so young.

“Will they come after us?” Luther asked. The room was silent as they all waited for Five’s answer.

“It’s possible,” he admitted. Klaus could feel the tension around him. He understood, even with the two assassins that were there at the end of the world, that didn’t mean all of them were gone, or that they were even dead in this time. “I managed to do some damage to their operation, but we can’t get cocky.”

“We need to be prepared,” Diego pointed out, fairly needlessly. The grim faces in the room knew that.

“How long can we keep hidden?” Allison asked.

“It depends,” Five started, “if they know we landed here? We can’t stay hidden. If they don’t know, we have as much time as we need if we play along with the timeline. They eliminate those who change time.”

“We need to train Vanya,” Allison said firmly, glaring at her brother.

“We do,” Five agreed, and he seemed even more tired.

“We can’t let her just stop taking the pills,” Ben said quietly, turning his head to talk to Klaus.

“Why not?” Diego snapped, even Allison seemed angry at Ben’s words.

“Right, I’m alive,” he muttered under his breath and Klaus’ heart clenched at the reminder. “If she goes cold turkey, she’ll have mood swings and she’ll be overwhelmed, there’s a reason we ease ourselves off legal drugs. If we want to make sure no one notices, she needs to stay calm and in control.”

Klaus had gone cold turkey so many times. He often struggled and gave in, but he was a pain when he was sober, too angry at the world. Considering how emotionless Vanya was now, it would be clear if she developed emotions.

“I’ll talk to her,” Allison said, “but I don’t like it.”

“The drugs are in her system,” Klaus pointed out, he thought they would have realised but all eyes turned to him, bar Vanya’s.

“What do you mean?” Luther asked.

“I’m high, and so is she,” he grinned. He had noticed the slight paranoia and the fogginess of his brain. There was the quiet dread that something bad was going to happen and the ghosts were quiet. His young body was still able to use the drugs as a way to cope, or at least weed. He probably had a stash hidden away, just waiting for him to return. He’d be able to have a quiet night.

“We should ease her off,” Five sighed, ignoring Klaus’ admission of being high. “We should do what we can to keep things normal, just in case they don’t know. We can’t tell dad anything, and we should try and keep our training as close to what it was,” Five explained, and everyone in the room stiffened. Training sessions had never been pleasant, even for Diego, who had been happier to turn to his knife training.

“I need about a week,” Klaus sighed. He hadn’t been doing anything overly hard in this body yet, but he wanted to make sure he was sober. _Although_ , weed didn’t always blank out his power like the other drugs had. There was a possibility that he would be able to manage and keep his power somewhat active with it.

Ben was looking at Klaus when he looked up, but so was everyone else. There was something prideful in Ben’s face though, _happiness_ , _pride_ , it didn’t look right directed towards him.

Swallowing, Klaus knew that he would have to make sure to get rid of the weed, he didn’t want to see the crushing defeat in Ben’s face if he had found it. No after that truly proud look.

“We can keep up with our training and we can each take a day to distract dad, just so everyone else can _study_ , we know all the stuff they’re teaching us anyway, so we can get the work done quickly and then focus on Vanya?” Allison asked.

“It’s my day tomorrow,” Luther pointed out, having noticed the small calendar in Allison’s room, Sunday’s had always been Number One’s day, Monday’s would be Allison’s and so on until Saturday came along. Saturday’s had a lesson focus, the whole group would sit together before being sent off to study and complete the short assignments that had been set. “I can ask dad to try some new things out, see if I can push training more. It gives you a bit more time?”

“That might be a good plan,” Five agreed, and Klaus’ heart sunk. He caught Ben’s frown and offered him a small smile, hoping it would ease the anxiety that Ben likely had as well. “Anyone disagree?”

“Training isn’t easy, how are we meant to extend it?” Ben asked, he didn’t look towards Vanya, and Klaus wondered if he’d take back his words if he had. “We already struggled enough with it before.”

“We don’t have to,” Allison cut in. “It’s just if we have an opportunity and feel able to handle it, right Five?” She sent her brother a look, but Five was already nodding with her words.

“We can’t change too much, so going along with the normal routine will be the better choice, we should still have plenty of time without distracting dad too much. We just need to keep training so he doesn’t notice anything,” Five pointed out, his mouth twisting, no doubt not looking forward to his own training either.

Klaus knew it wasn’t intentional, but it had felt like they were all staring at him. It was around this time originally that Klaus had started to pull away from training, refusing to give his all. He didn’t want to be that person again, not at the risk of Vanya. She looked so small and scared next to Allison. Five took up most of the attention in his place against the wall, but even with Five in view, Vanya seemed so young. Skipping training put Vanya at risk.

He couldn’t risk hurting Vanya. Or Ben, that steady, warm presence beside him. Ben had been his rock and Klaus couldn’t risk letting him die again. Ben didn’t deserve that. He had to do whatever he could to make sure that Vanya and Ben were safe. Ben deserves the chance to live, and if that means Klaus needs to stop hiding from himself - or rather from the world only he sees. He promised that he would be the only sibling that saw it this life.

“Are we sure about this?” Diego asked, and there was only a small shake to his voice. His stutter had still been an issue for most of their early teenage years.

“We need this chance,” Five insisted.

“We don’t even know wh-wh-when,” Diego scowled, cutting himself off.

“We’re clearly young,” Allison said gently, “Vanya hasn’t cut her hair off yet, so we aren’t fourteen yet.”

“Dad was so pissed,” Klaus chuckled, remembering the horror and disgusted that the man had thrown at Vanya. At the moment they had all been scared, but nothing had happened. It was Vanya’s rebellion when they had mostly given up hope of Five returning. She had continued to do her nightly preparation just in case, but she knew it was unlikely.

“When did I leave?” Five asked, his voice haggard, and wasn’t it strange to think he had forgotten? The other’s had the day seared into their brain, but Five had lived a longer life than they had.

“November tenth,” Luther said stiffly, looking back over to the small calendar in Allison’s room. He hadn’t connected the dots, she always changed it in the morning before going to breakfast, so the nine that was still uncrossed was all they needed. It was today, or in the morning that he should disappear. The tenth was Luther’s day to train, a Sunday and Five had originally disappeared, leaving Luther scared and nervous. He had earnt his dad’s disappointment that day.

“I think it’s safe to say that isn’t happening this time,” Five sighed. He leant his head against his knees, “I need to sleep. We can’t risk dad noticing us all dead tomorrow.”

Diego nodded, already half stood to help Five to his room.

“Vanya stays here,” Allison demanded, not meeting any resistance. “I’ll talk to her in the morning before we need to be ready.”

“Klaus, Ben,” Luther’s voice was so gentle with Ben’s name. “Are you ok to get back to your rooms?”

Ben nodded for the both of them and helped Klaus stand, smiling at how the long limbs and coordination had already set in. Klaus was often all legs and arms when he got tired enough to show it, it had lessened on the streets when he took enough to keep himself awake until he crashed into bed with someone. Seeing him like this was reassuring, and Ben was hopeful that the part of Klaus that had broken on the streets might still be whole.

“Ok, night,” Luther said after a second.

Klaus followed Ben, barely thinking, but knowing that his brother would take him somewhere safe.

His room was both as he remembered, and completely different. The walls were only a few odd sentences on the walls, not as they had been years in the future. His room was still the same eerily cold one though, not like Allison’s, or Ben’s.

Klaus didn’t question Ben laying on the bed, he had done it so many times in the past. Ghost physics were strange sometimes, he could look through doors and walls but he could stay on a chair or a bed. How did ghosts walk anywhere without falling through the floor?

“I don’t think I can sleep alone,” Ben said, answering an unasked question as Klaus watched him.

Klaus’ heart sank once again. Ben was alive. Ghost physics didn’t matter, he had forgotten. He was completely human once again. Blinking back the sickening feelings he was having, Klaus followed his brother into bed and wasted no time in wrapping around the heat. If only for a night, he would enjoy the feeling of Ben being alive and there. Only one night, he wouldn’t take up any more of Ben’s life after this, he deserved time with his family.

He could hear Ben’s heart, and Klaus felt _warm_ being against him. The bed was only small, but neither of them minded.


	2. Settling In

The morning after they had landed into the past, it had been a struggle for all of the siblings to present themselves for breakfast. They did, however, arrive promptly and wait for their father to take his seat before they all sat. Nothing had changed at all, they had falling back into that old routine with ease.

Each child looked tired and weary, while Reginald seemed oblivious. Five’s head dipped, and narrowly avoiding hitting the table when he caught himself. He blinked rapidly, scowling down at the wood, as though it was the table's fault he had almost fallen asleep where he sat. Five’s scowl deepened as he turned to glare at Diego, who had kicked him underneath the table and sent him a warning stare while the radio droned on. Diego was keeping an eye on Five it seemed, nudging him whenever he seemed to nod off. They’d all be in trouble if one of them fell asleep at the table.

Vanya sat silent and still, hardly touching her food. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks were pink, but she played her part as a child well, her eyes would wander between Allison and Ben, marvelling just as the others had done the night before that her brother was once again alive. Allison would look over to her, catching her eye and offering a smile before turning back to her food.

Luther, while eating, would look between his siblings and their dad. There was a nervousness to his posture, something that seemed out of place, but only if you knew where to look. His hands were gripping his utensils tightly and his body was tense. Given the choice, Luther would probably twist and move further away from the man that had ignored him for his whole life, the man that had lived a lie and made Luther believe he cared.

Ben picked at his food, savouring each mouthful. It wasn’t anything special, but for someone’s first meal, it was almost heavenly. Beside him, Klaus’ fingers itched and his eyes would dart around the room. He was seeing something that Ben could no longer see. While Klaus’ body didn’t crave the harder drugs, his mind did. The craving was psychological, but the ghosts that were watching him were real. They kept their ground, gurgling and whining. They hadn’t built up to their screams yet, early mornings used to be quieter, it was the nights when no one was around that they screamed and reached out for him. The moments when Klaus was alone and venerable were the worst.

After their breakfast, the children were excused to prepare for their daily lessons. Luther was held back, ready for his training. Individual studying, this time was in the morning while each one of them would train. Rather than teach the children separately, they were given projects and research to complete. That way, the afternoon classes were as a whole unit.

Typically, they would retire to their own rooms to do their assigned work, but today they had all gathered in the library.

Vanya still looked so small and young next to the group. Allison had seemed to take her role of ‘big sister’ to a new level, constantly hovering and reaching over to comfort her. It was sweet, even if it was after they had already failed as siblings.

“How are you doing?” Five asked her, his voice quiet but so loud in the library, it seemed to echo around them, and Klaus was reminded why he avoided this room.

“I’m scared,” Vanya replied in her own whisper. The ghost behind her didn’t respond, and Klaus hoped that it didn’t start to scream. The cries would echo around the room and it always sounded like there were hundreds of them when he was locked somewhere that echoed.

“We have a plan,” Allison promised her, and Vanya nodded. It was obvious that they had already spoken about this, but how early had they been up talking? Did Allison explain everything?

“Just keep your head down,” Five said gently, “we’ll do the most of the distraction.” Even Five seemed to be taking on a role of ‘big brother’, looking out for Vanya and being gentle with her. It was sweet, but it felt as though Klaus was intruding on a moment that he shouldn’t see. It wasn’t as if he had any delusions on what, or who, his family were. He knew there were double standards, and that the care they showed each other varied, but that was normal. Not everyone gets along, and Klaus had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way. He was loud and abrasive, and even if Ben claimed it was a way for him to push everyone away, it was as easy as breathing. Only Diego had really tried to be there for him - although that wasn’t true, Diego was the only one stubborn enough to keep looking out for him after Klaus had shown his true colours.

“Ben, how should we ease Vanya off the medication?” Allison asked, and even Diego nodded to the question as Vanya sunk back into herself.

She had asked Ben. Of course, she had. It made the ever-growing presence of the ghost standing by one of the bookshelves a little sharper to Klaus. There were a few ghosts hidden away among the books, feelings more comfortable in the dusty library than in the open. But, Klaus could rationalise Allison’s action, Ben had watched him go through withdrawal a few times and only one rehab centre had let him ease off it rather than demand him going cold turkey. Klaus hadn’t stuck with the programme, but that one had been one of the highest praised centres. There had been too much therapy, and they didn’t cater to the harder drugs, so naturally, Klaus had been left to the centres suited for the desperate cases, left to shake, vomit and cry his way sober.

“It should be slow, especially if we’re hiding it from dad,” Ben began, and Klaus didn’t want to hear him rationalise it. He was using Klaus’ experience as a guide. It felt unfair, not even giving Klaus a chance to answer, just skipping over him as if he didn’t have the experience first-hand.

“I should probably go sort out whatever we need to hand in today,” Klaus muttered, turning around and only half expecting someone to stop him. He pretended that he wasn’t disappointed when no one called his name. Nothing had changed, not that he had truly expected it to. It was still a bittersweet pill, and it made Klaus want to scream.

Perhaps he was over-thinking it. Weed did that sometimes, the sober after-effects always make him more suspicious and sensitive. It was mostly why he smoked it as much as he could. Vietnam was a godsend for it, even though they had to hide it. Weed - _dew_ , they had called it, was in high supply. Almost everyone smoked it and had it, but the higher-ups had gotten orders to send troops home that were caught. Yet, they didn’t bat an eyelash about the cocaine that was so readily available.

Without even thinking, Klaus had sat himself on the floor by his bed, and his hand had drifted in the space beneath it, just searching for treasure. It had been his first hiding spot, crude and useless if anyone wanted to find it, but there it was. Pulling the small bag out, Klaus grinned.

Lost in his thoughts, Klaus had closed the door behind him, and he was free to roll his treasure into something usable. His fingers were a little clumsy as he made his joint, and he could hear the gurgling rasp from the middle of his room. No screams had started yet, so it was the best time to truly ignore them. They were easier to block out before the screaming began.

The smell was familiar and it calmed something in Klaus’ chest. He felt less raw and sensitive just holding it and smelling the stench. Bringing it to his lips, he inhaled.

This was the first time Klaus had been alone while he smoked in years. If it was Ben or a random body he spent the night with, the last time it had been -

Klaus coughed. Spluttering as he choked. The soothing smell turned sour and the taste turned to ash. Klaus had almost forgotten. How could he forget?

His hand went to his neck, searching. He found nothing.

Putting the joint out against the floor, Klaus tried to focus on his breathing. Normally Ben would be there to help him. _Breathe, you_ _’ve been through worse things_ , as unhelpful as it was, he did appreciate his brother.

He had no evidence of Dave being alive. The dog tags were gone, and Klaus knew he hadn’t taken them off. Since he got them, he had been wearing them and he remembered gripping them while the moon had begun its descent towards them. Now they were gone. Did that mean Klaus had never been in the past? That he had never met Dave? Was Dave alone in a war he hadn’t truly wanted to fight? He hoped not. Dave had always been likeable, much more so than Klaus had been. He passed as one of the guys while Klaus had stood out as different right away.

The last time Klaus had smoked with someone that wasn’t Ben, it had been Dave. They had passed it back and forth, laughing and smiling. Sometimes other troops would join them and they’d have to give each other secret smiles. He missed it. He missed Dave.

He needed to know if he had been there, if Dave had been happy.

Swallowing around his dry tongue, Klaus gathered up the small bag of weed and the barely smoked joint. He’d have to get rid of it all again, he couldn’t risk the temptation. If Klaus was going to - if he was going to find out, he needed to be sober. He couldn’t bear not knowing.

It was almost harder to flush his drugs the second time. The first time he had done it had been emotionally fuelled. He had been hurt and sad, and desperate. He had barely thought about his actions. Now he was alone and making the choice willingly.

Getting rid of the drugs hadn’t been a quick event. It had taken Klaus a few days to be sure that his room was truly clean. In that time frame, Ben had kept him in the loop with what they had discussed. Apparently, they had agreed to cut down half a tablet a week, and reassess if Vanya seemed to be at all out of control. She had also been a lot more nervous with Luther in the room, while Allison trained, but Diego had stepped up and kept close to her.

Klaus had nodded and thanked him, but had continued to the lie that he was making sure to get his projects completed. It was somewhat believable - Klaus had always waited until the last minute to throw something together and hand whatever it was in. He just hoped that they didn’t question it too much when he got feedback. It was a class event, shamed and praised in front of everyone.

The morning of Klaus’ training, he had been nervous. It wasn’t a surprise, and his siblings had all been giving Klaus side-eyes, almost warning him not to screw up. Even Five, who still looked half asleep. He had been slow to recover from jumping through time with them.

Klaus had dutifully followed his father through the Academy and out of the door, they stepped into the car and Klaus waited. Without weed, the ghosts were a nuisance, nothing like Klaus remembered. Their screams were quieter and less intense. He still didn’t want to face the mausoleum, that had always been an added intensity of ghosts, but the Academy had been a slight headache and hardly anything more. He had still flinched and shifted out of the way of ghosts, but he hadn’t needed to cover his ears and beg them to stop. Not yet.

Klaus sighed, a hand coming to rub his forehead. The headache was begging him to retreat to his room. They hadn’t gone far form the Academy, but the ghosts were loud and persistent in their efforts. Klaus hadn’t managed to get much from them, he had barely stopped himself from flinching back as they reached out for him, pleading him to help. He did try with his training, they didn’t go to the mausoleum, but they were at a park. One that had a recent murder from what Reginald had explained on their drive there. It had only been a short drive but it was enough to make Klaus’ hands itch for something to do.

“Sir,” Klaus said, they were heading back to the Academy, and Klaus had jogged to keep up with his father. He continued to talk as Reginald’s steps slowed slightly, allowing Klaus to step in time with him. “I was thinking, Number Five seems exhausted, so I was hoping that I could take his place tomorrow,” he spoke quickly, hoping he didn’t lose his nerve. He didn’t look towards Reginald, focusing on the building coming into focus. He had been considering this for the whole ride back. “I know I haven’t been eager to develop my ability, and that I’m still scared, but I was thinking that you might be able to help me push them away, the ghosts that is, because they’re always there and I don’t know how to do it, and I’ve tried. I - I think I might not be able to - I know drugs keep them away, but I don’t want to use them,” Klaus paused, he swallowed, hating how true the words were, but mostly hating how honest he was being with Reginald. When he rambled, he was often honest. He didn’t want to turn back to drugs, his body hadn’t been ruined by them yet, even if his mind still craved them. “I think,” Klaus continued, the words slow, “I think if I learn how to push them away or make them stop screaming, I won’t be scared to reach my potential. But I can’t do that if I’m scared all the time.”

“I noticed you cleared your room,” Reginald said. Klaus blanched a little.

“I did,” Klaus agreed, he clearly hadn’t disabled the camera in his room yet this time around, he would have to fix that. “I think I’m ready,” he lied. He didn’t think he would ever be ready. He hadn’t been ready to stop using drugs or to face his father again. “I just don’t know where to start.”

“Tomorrow morning,” Reginald stated as if it was that simple, but Klaus took it. He nodded, thanking him before they went their separate ways upon entering the Academy.

Klaus wouldn’t ask anything else, he didn’t want to risk bringing any more suspicion on himself. He took the stairs two at a time, forgetting his uneasy feeling from the other day. He raced down the hall and poked his head into Five’s room. It was better to tell him now than to wait.

Five still looked terrible. He still had bags under his eyes, and he was sat ready for anything. He didn’t seem to have allowed himself to relax at all. Klaus knew he had made the right choice, even if it made his skin crawl to think about training again so soon.

“Hey, Five?” Klaus called, not stepping into the room, just leaving his head poking around the door. “You ok?”

“I’m fine,” Five said stiffly as he stood up. He even stood tense, ready to jump into action at the first sign of trouble. No doubt he had expected bad news with Klaus’ arrival.

“I’m taking your training tomorrow, just get back to normal, ok?” Klaus said, hating himself for offering. He had made the choice already, having seen how little energy Five seemed to have, even after the few days of resting. Two days were never fun with back-to-back training. He would do it though, and he would make sure that Five had a bit more time to recover before Reginald set his sights onto him.

“You - why? You hate training,” Five frowned at him. It said a lot that Five hadn’t jumped on to the defensive, claiming he could handle it.

“You look dead,” Klaus said simply. “I don’t think you’d survive training,” he added, trying to soften his voice so Five didn’t take his words as a challenge.

“I could do it,” Five protested, but the words were soft.

“I already did it,” Klaus grinned, “no undoing it now."

It had only been a few days since they were back in their teenage years, and Klaus was, thankfully, skirting past the worst of withdrawal. The joys of a mostly sober body, he suspected. Klaus hadn’t been handling the ghosts too well, even in their less intense state, and he had been itching to at least dip into the weed that was probably still around the house. He cleared out the areas he remembered, but there had to be some around. Klaus had been a crafty child, hiding drugs all over, although he might be a little too early for some of his stashes, it had been _strange_ to look into some of his favourite places from the future and come away with nothing.

Stumbling away from Five, Klaus ignored his room, making his way to Ben’s. He already missed the warmth that oozed from Ben. Plus, Klaus wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to go to his loud room and not be tempted to look for anywhere in the house he might have managed to miss clearing weed from.

However, Ben’s room was empty. Not knowing where he would be, Klaus just sighed and made his way towards his own room. At least he was fairly sure it was clean, and he could just huddle under his blankets and pretend the world wasn’t full of ghosts.

Klaus still had moments where he would look around for Ben, expecting him to be hovering nearby or waiting with a witty comment that only he’d hear. It was still jarring to have the others laugh when Ben said something. They’d reply and it would be fun, and Klaus tried so hard not to be jealous that his siblings had the chance to share Ben. There was no need for jealousy. Ben had even said on that first night back in this time, that he and Klaus had a bond that the others wouldn’t be able to build. Being dead and only connected together would do that. Ben had seen through Klaus’ bravado, and his attempts to brush his feelings off on the weed his body had smoked moments before they came back. It was why Klaus liked Ben, why he trusted him with everything in his life. They were close.

“How bad was it?” Ben’s voice asked as Klaus pushed his door open.

Klaus should have known. If Ben’s training had been first, he would have waited for Ben’s return to make sure he was alright. It was only fair that Ben did the same. He hadn’t changed that much.

“It was shit, I’m covering for Five tomorrow too, he still looks like he’ll keel over any minute now,” Klaus muttered, pushing his bedroom door closed behind him and striding over to the bed. Ben moved aside to let Klaus clamber up next to him. There was a sense of relief in both boys as their body temperatures began to mellow out between them. Klaus still calmed Ben, even the eldritch quieted with him around. Ben had forgotten just how much stress would upset them, and the past few hours of sitting and waiting had left them restless.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Ben pointed out, but Klaus scoffed as he wrapped his body around his brother. If he hadn’t, no one else would have. Luther was still too much of a good boy to even consider interrupting Reginald’s plans. Allison was trying to spend as much time with Vanya as possible. Diego was trying to redeem himself by helping Allison and Vanya, as well as soaking up every moment he could with their mother. Five was nowhere near ready to distract Reginald. Ben - Klaus couldn’t let Ben subject himself to training more than he needed to, and Vanya was unable to put herself in that situation either.

“As long as Five is back to normal soon, it’ll be worth it,” Klaus hoped and the way that Ben wrapped his arms around Klaus - and wasn’t that still amazing, Ben could hug him! - he didn’t seem to believe Klaus either.

“I know how much you hate it though.”

Klaus doesn’t justify it with a response, there was no way he could lie, because he never hid how much he hated training, and he didn’t _want_ to lie to Ben. Instead of saying anything, Klaus closed his eyes and rested his head against Ben’s chest, feeling how tense his brother got - how tense he always got when someone got anywhere near his stomach. Klaus didn’t care about the risk, he just needed to remind himself that Ben was still alive, that his body was warm and his heart was still beating. It was comforting, and Klaus used to lay with Dave like this when they had the chance. It wasn’t often, but it was soothing.


	3. Struggling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed last week, I'm sorry, things came up and I couldn't get this chapter finalised and ready for then, hopefully there shouldn't be more than a two week wait for a chapter at all. Also hopefully you enjoy this.

“Her head is bent at an angle,” Klaus explained. “It’s possible that she was killed by having her neck snapped, there’s something though, she’s not talking, not like the others. She’s wearing a uniform, almost like a maid - no, not a maid,” Klaus frowned, and the woman he was watching only gurgled at him, not helping in the slightest.

It was a simple training session, not as intense as the previous day. Klaus had been sat in the middle of the room and tasked with describing the ghosts around him and how they died.

“Concentrate Number Four,” Reginald snapped.

“She can’t talk,” Klaus huffed, frustrated.

“See beyond that.”

With a groan, Klaus did his best. He focused on the lady. She had been someone Klaus had seen all throughout his childhood. She would shy away from the group of siblings, but sometimes she would come close to Klaus when he was alone, almost searching for something. Likely the same help that the other ghosts screamed about.

“ _KLAUS!_ ”

He flinched, almost falling onto his back. He had been sat crossed legged, but the shock of the sudden scream had been enough to unbalance him.

“There’s another,” Klaus explained, ignoring the shaking that started in his hands. It wasn’t real, he tried to tell himself, this body didn’t crave the pills, the shaking isn’t real. “He’s mad, he’s glaring at you and calling out my name.”

“What does he want?”

Klaus hated that question. He followed the order though, ignoring the woman, and focusing on the man. Blood oozed from his mouth and his chest, but his clothes, while bloody, showed no sign of what had happened.

“What do you want?” Klaus asked, and the frenzy in his eyes grew. The ghost almost jumped across the room to get closer to Klaus. It took everything for the teenager not to scurry backwards.

“ _Justice_ ,” he hissed, looking over Klaus’ shoulder for a second before he refocused on the teen. “ _KLAUS!_ ”

Klaus couldn’t help but back up, scooting backwards the best he could from his sitting position. The ghost followed him.

“Enough of this nonsense Number Four. Report.”

Swallowing, Klaus forced himself to stop. He knew that the ghost couldn’t hurt him, not now. Whatever he had done with Ben in the past, this ghost didn’t have that ability. He had to remember that.

“He said Justice Sir,” Klaus reported like he was meant to. “He doesn’t seem to be completely aware of his surroundings though. He keeps losing himself,” and that was the simplest way to explain the snarling of Klaus’ name being brutally thrown into the silence of the room. Klaus’ head ached and his whole body was freezing.

The ghost reached out to swipe at him, and Klaus yelped, half expecting it to connect.

It didn’t.

Of course, it didn’t. The ghosts didn’t touch Klaus, he knew that. Only Ben had done it.

“He keeps reaching out, and I - I thought he might touch me but he didn’t,” Klaus admitted, and he hated how his voice shook.

Training seemed to continue along this path, and Klaus hated himself for agreeing to an extra day. For even thinking about it, let alone actually suggesting it. He loved Five, or at least he respected Five, but this wasn’t worth it.

“Enough,” Reginald had snapped, and Klaus let himself fall backwards onto the floor. He could hear the frustration in the man’s voice and Klaus was so used to it, but it brought back another memory, _‘you are not living up to your potential_ ’, it had been snarled at him and Klaus was shocked he even remembered the words that were spat that night. He had been high, it was commonplace after Five’s disappearance, they were all falling apart and Klaus fell into drugs. He had snuck home, disregarding the wall he usually pulls himself up on. He had walked in through the front door, not caring how it had squeaked or how the floorboards creaked. He had taken the steps three at a time, before coming face to face with Reginald once again. Thankfully this time he wasn’t posed at the top of the staircase. They were within hearing range of the siblings, but they had all been asleep when Reginald had begun to berate him. Klaus found out later that they had woken up during the raised voices, but he didn’t care.

That night had been the last of his empty hands. A push to bring out his potential.

Sitting up suddenly, Klaus turned to stare at his father. He had planned it for years, Klaus knew that. It was designed so carefully that his senses had almost been dialled up from 1 to 10.

“You may go,” Reginald said, taking Klaus’ stare as a plea to leave.

He almost hesitated. Almost.

Klaus fled the room, thinking hard about what he was considering. It was tempting, he was struggling to do the mindless things he used to do when he was high. A few times when Klaus was half sober and desperate to pass the time, he would play a game with Ben. Ben found it horrible depressing, but Klaus took a hint of sick pleasure it in. They’d look at the ghosts and guess how they had died. Ben would be curt, giving small answers based on the gunshot wound or the obvious possibility, while Klaus would tell a tale. He hadn’t thought much of it, but today’s training made him rethink his game. _Perhaps he had been on to something_. Reginald certainly seemed to think he could tell the death of a ghost by sight alone.

He knew now what Reginald had been searching for. Klaus used to get impressions of how people died before, if it was violent or an accident, or just old age. Sometimes he had flashes of their death, but that was only in his soberest days, and he avoided that as much as possible. It was how he managed to come up with such vivid stories of death, and he had always been sure he was right - even if he never chanced to check with one of the ghosts.

Klaus could have asked Ben about his death - about what _really_ happened. Ben had talked briefly about the fear and how he knew he was going to die in that moment, but never about what had happened. Klaus had an idea. He was sure he knew, but he hadn’t said anything, not wanting to make Ben relive that moment just because of a stray thought he had. Klaus was conscious of others sometimes.

He felt on edge, as though something was missing and as he rubbed his palms against his shorts, he knew exactly what it was.

The library was empty, except for Ben. He was sat at the small table with his papers in front of him. Most likely the others had gone to Allison’s room, or Diego and Luther were using the time to continue their own training. Bettering yourself was always encouraged, and the small training area was always open for them to better themselves physically.

“I need advice,” Klaus announced and he enjoyed how Ben’s lips twitched for a second.

“Don’t you always?”

It was easy to fall back into the idea of Ben being only for Klaus, but he tried to stay in the moment, to remember that this wasn’t his _dead_ brother.

“Should I do a potentially stupid thing?” Klaus asked, and ever since he had realised that a part of him was missing, there was a tightness to his palms. It was likely all inside of his mind, but he felt like this is what he had to do.

“How stupid?” Ben asked, finally looking up to Klaus. It was with a frown he looked over his brother. Klaus was pale, tense and he looked _wrong_. Whatever he had seemed to be joking about wasn’t a joke, this was a serious question, and Ben prepared himself for a serious response.

“Changing the timeline stupid,” Klaus replied. Part of him hesitated at telling his full plan to Ben, knowing that the teenager would protest. He was like that, a lot more rational than Klaus was. He wouldn’t be swayed by the desire to see his dead love, he wasn’t that weak. Klaus knew that Reginald would call it weakness if he were to ever know, he would have to hide his desire to see Dave.

“Do I need deniability?” Ben sighed.

Klaus’ stomach fell and he was, once again, reminded that Ben wasn’t just his anymore. He spoke to other people, of course, he needed to know if he was meant to keep something a secret.

“Maybe,” Klaus admitted, ignoring how hollow he felt. It shouldn’t still affect him, he _knew_ Ben was alive and he was _happy_ for him. If he said it enough, would it be true? It was true, Klaus was truly happy that Ben had a chance to live, to be around people and talk to more than just him. So why did it always blindsight him? Why did it hurt to remember that Ben was alive? Klaus hadn’t thought he was that selfish.

“What is it?” Ben asked, leaning forward, but Klaus was suddenly unsure of himself.

“Just thinking about really trying to figure out my ability,” Klaus said, hedging around his plan. He knew that Ben was aware he wasn’t being completely honest.

“You want to figure it out?” Ben asked dubiously. “You hate it.”

“We were getting somewhere,” Klaus pointed out, but the words were leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Some honesty was needed, otherwise Ben wouldn’t let the subject go. “I don’t want to be that person again. I have a new chance and if I don’t try to figure it out, then I have no chance,” he admitted, which was partly true. Dave was the biggest factor though, he couldn’t be his old self if he wanted to keep Dave, if he wanted to see Dave and make sure that he was alright. Klaus would be brave for Dave.

“Is it anything stupid?” Ben said after regarding Klaus for a moment.

“Define stupid?” Klaus asked, thankful that Ben had seen through his misdirection as well as frustrated.

“Will you be putting yourself at risk?” Ben settled on asking.

Klaus considered his answer. Technically pain would be involved, but out of all the risks in the world, pain was nothing. He would be conscious and sober, so that wasn’t even a risk. The only thing was Klaus’ sanity, and did he have much of that left after his life? It felt like an acceptable risk though.

“No, not really,” Klaus answered Ben, who stared at him for a moment before relenting and looking away.

“Just be smart about what you do,” Ben sighed, turning back to his book.

“What are you reading?” Klaus didn’t want to leave yet, enjoying the warmth that surrounded Ben, and that really should be the thing that reminds Klaus of his livelihood more so than talking to him.

“Reminding myself on the war, that’s what our latest studies are on,” he reminded Klaus, knowing that his excuses to leave the meetings was unlikely honest.

“Which one?” Klaus sighed, they had touched on the Vietnam war before, he remembered bits of what they had been taught while he was there, and how inaccurate some of the history written had been.

“I’m not sure, I’m guessing it’s on one of the world wars,” Ben admitted. “My notes were unhelpful.” That was likely frustrating for him, Ben had often did his notes in a quick-hand fashion to expand on at a later stage.

“I bet you hate that,” Klaus laughed.

“Makes me rethink my whole system,” Ben joked.

Klaus sat beside him, just relaxing with his head resting on his arms as he let Ben’s warmth washed over him. He must have fallen asleep because Ben had nudged him awake for their compulsory meal. Their father had been stone-faced as always, ignoring the children as they ate.

The next two weeks went on in the same fashion. Ben had been correct in assuming they were discussing a world war, the second one in fact.

Klaus considered his options for those weeks, the days long and dragging. His mind was elsewhere and his siblings continued in their own plans, and things returned to some sort of normalcy.

It was after training that Klaus came to a stop, he had been dismissed but he lingered, knowing that he needed to do something. He had to take a risk, to make something happen. His ability was just not progressing and he was growing as frustrated as Reginald was. The others didn’t notice - or they didn’t say anything.

Ben had been shaken after each of his own training days, and Klaus did all he could, but Ben often retreated, pulling away from Klaus and shutting himself in his room. Klaus hated it. He hated knowing how uncomfortable and hurt Ben was. It had been a dark night where Ben had admitted to the aching and the feeling of being lost in his own body after each training session, years after his death before he could even voice how it felt. Klaus wanted to do something, to help ease that for him, and two weeks of seeing his brother like that had been enough.

“What is it Number Four?” Reginald asked.

“I was wondering if I could take Number Six’s training this week,” Klaus forced the words out. He didn’t want to give Reginald the chance to reply, but the man had merely lifted his head from his notebook to stare at Klaus, waiting for a reason. A good one. “I am trying to develop my ability,” he started. “Number Six seems…” Klaus trailed off, unsure how to put it into words that didn’t seem sentimental - Reginald wouldn’t appreciate that. “He seems uneasy, and I have a bad feeling about pushing him too much,” Klaus lied. “I worry that his ability may turn against him.”

“You have a feeling,” Reginald repeated, but his tone wasn’t sceptical, he was curious. “You and Number Six have been spending more time together. When did this feeling begin?”

“After his last training,” anyone that claimed that Klaus couldn’t lie was in for a surprise because Reginald seemed sold. “I tried to ignore it, but it won’t go.” Klaus licked his lips, thinking back to a few times that he had felt an uneasy feeling, one that told him to get involved and do something. “It’s like an itch, one that I can’t stop.”

Reginald didn’t say anything, and Klaus wasn’t sure if his effort had been successful so he continued.

“I want to get stronger too, I know I can do this. There’s just - there’s something stopping me, like a block or something,” he started, the words falling in a ramble. “I know I’m close but I can’t quite get there. I know if I can just push the ghosts away I will be able to figure it out, I’ll be able to calm down and think without them screaming. I just can’t do it, it’s like -” Klaus paused, asking himself if this is what he really wanted. This was his last chance to stop it, to let it happen naturally. He had to do it, for Dave. “It’s like there’s something blocking me that I can’t stop. If I could just make myself stronger, I’d be able to do it,” Klaus felt breathless and his heart raced as he said it. It wasn’t enough to outright ask, but it should be enough to make Reginald consider it. “I just need something.”

“I am not prescribing drugs,” Reginald said blandly.

“No,” Klaus said quickly. “I don’t want drugs,” and it was true. He didn’t want or need them for this. “They make my ability worse. I need something to make it better, even if it’s just more training. I know I can do this.”

Klaus knew that as soon as his adrenaline had worn off, he’d be sick. He could already feel the urge.

“And you wish to take Number Six’s training to prove that?” Reginald asked slowly, forcing a confirmation out of Klaus.

“Yes sir,” Klaus agreed. “I don’t feel like I am in control, there’s something stopping it and I need to fix it before it becomes a bigger issue.”

“Indeed.”

Reginald wrote something in his notebook and he continued to write for a few minutes, but Klaus refused to leave. He wouldn’t leave without an answer. Even if he meant swallowing around the uncomfortable lump and the urge to expel his breakfast.

“I suppose Number Six has been working hard,” Reginald said finally, not looking up to Klaus. He would often address the kids like that, not giving them the attention as he spoke. “It would not do well to anger his inhabitants, without the host, they are useless.”

Klaus hated hearing him talk like that, as if Ben was nothing more than a vessel for the eldritch to come through.

“If your efforts dwindle, he will be taking your next training day, as well as his own, do you understand?” Reginald asked, and Klaus nodded. The threat was clear, and Klaus wouldn’t let that happen. Ben deserved a break, and he’d get one. He wouldn’t fail.

Klaus accepted this dismissal, leaving the room quickly. He only just made it to one of the bathrooms close before his stomach was rejecting any food within him. He heaved and shook. Sitting back, he wiped the stray tears from his face. Being sick was never pleasant, but his plan was in motion. Klaus rinsed his mouth out, flushed the toilet and made his way up to his room. He avoided every place that Ben would sit and wait for him. They had often met in the library since that first day. He didn’t want to face his brother, not yet. Ben would protest and demand his day back to keep Klaus safe. No, he’d wait until Friday morning, catch Ben just before breakfast and reveal the news of his free day.


	4. Hello, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a day late but I really couldn't bring myself to give it until the next Monday to update, so here, a day late, and there's a chance I might switch updating over to Tuesday's, just because it is a little easier for me. Hopefully you all enjoy this,

Ben hadn’t reacted to the news of a training free Friday well - not that Klaus had expected that. Ben had glared at his brother all through their breakfast, and even the rest of the siblings had stared in confusion as Klaus was told to prepare for training. Klaus refused to acknowledge them, staring ahead as he nodded.

“Focus Number Four!” Reginald snapped and Klaus just blinked. His head was fuzzy and there was something just out of his reach, something he knew he should be able to achieve. “What is holding you back?”

“It’s just not happening,” Klaus snapped, forgetting his place. Reginald didn’t typically accept back talk, and Klaus was always the one to walk that line, but he didn’t often snap back. “Sorry,” he added stiffly, knowing that it would make things a little easier on himself. “I’m just frustrated, I thought I could do it.”

“You have been working more than anticipated,” Reginald said, and his voice was gentler than Klaus was used to. It was almost as though he was praising Klaus between the lines, but he didn’t want to read too much into it, _that_ was asking for disappointment.

“I should be able to do something,” Klaus hissed, more to himself than to his father. “I thought -” but he let the sentence die in his mind. He thought he would be able to do more, to have more control.

“You thought what Number Four?” Reginald asked, making Klaus cringe at just how aware his father was.

Klaus considered his possible responses, he didn’t want to make Reginald anymore suspicious of him than he likely was. The sudden attitude change was strange, Klaus had _never_ enjoyed training, and now he was asking for extra training.

“I thought I could do it, that I could do something at least,” Klaus admitted.

“Why?” Reginald pressed and Klaus knew that he was being watched more closely than his siblings had been over the past two weeks.

“I -” Klaus couldn’t think of anything to say, not to explain it well. What he had done with Ben was different and it was in the past. Reginald wouldn’t know anything about it, even if he was alive. Almost as soon as Klaus realised that, an idea appeared to him. “A ghost,” he said quickly, turning to look at his father. “A ghost said I could do more.”

Klaus caught the interest in his father’s eyes and knew he had struck gold. Even if he didn’t believe that it was the truth, he was curious enough to see where this led.

“What did this non-living say?” Reginald asked, his notebook open, but his pen wasn’t in hand, he was giving Klaus his full attention.

“He said I should be able to push the ghosts away and maybe bring them forward. He thought I could do more than just see them,” Klaus said, and while he knew it was true, his voice still shook as he spoke.

“And you wish to develop to this point?” Reginald asked slowly, as though he was weighing his own words.

“If I can control them without the drugs, I would rather do that,” Klaus said, and while it wasn’t completely true, it was honest enough.

“I suppose that would be more useful,” Reginald mused and Klaus watched as he made a note in his book.

“Sir,” Klaus said, and he saw was the pen paused in its movement, so Klaus took the cue to continue; “Do you know what might help me overcome this block? I’m close but I just can’t manage to make that last push to make it happen,” Klaus said. “Something that might help boost my power until I can handle it. Anything that might help.”

It was dangerous, and Klaus knew he was opening himself up to pretty much anything that Reginald could think of, but he was sure he knew what the outcome could be. Ben was going to kill him at the end of this.

“There are potential ways we could boost your ability,” Reginald said quietly but Klaus heard him loud and clear.

Pages were flipped, and Klaus saw his father move to almost the front of the book he had on him. How long had he been planning this?

“We will come back after lunch Number Four,” he said, turning and striding out of the book, the book still holding his focus.

Klaus’ heart was beating rapidly and his head was almost spinning. There were three ghosts in the room, but they had all been quiet through the conversation, once Reginald left the room, two began to wail while one had begun to cackle into the screams. It was a chilling combination and Klaus left as quickly as Reginald had done.

“W-woah,” someone said, holding Klaus still as he tried to peal through the Academy. He could still hear the laughter and the screams behind him, almost echoing through the whole building. The volume was intense.

“Klaus!”

Klaus’ eyes found Ben, who was watching him with a worried look over Diego’s shoulder. It was Diego that had grabbed him, stopping him from running them both over.

“Are you alright?”

That was Vanya, almost hiding in the shadow of Ben, but also giving Klaus a concerned glance.

Swallowing, Klaus took time to blink and refocus. As he shifted his mind, he noticed the sounds of the dead lessening, but it was still loud.

“Yeah,” and Klaus hated how unsure he sounded, even to his own ears, there had been no convincing Ben, but the others might have believed him if he had answered strongly enough.

“Was it training?” Ben asked, and there was already guilt building behind his eyes. “What happened?”

Klaus shook his head, not ready to let them know what he had done.

“Nothing,” It was true, so far at least. “We’re continuing after lunch,” he added, and he could hear the strength coming back to his voice and Vanya seemed to be relaxing. The boys didn’t seem too sure though. “Where’s Allison and Luther?”

“Five wanted to go over the plan,” Ben said.

“They want to talk about me,” Vanya cut in, and wasn’t that a strange thing. Klaus couldn’t remember a time in their childhood that she had ever interrupted them, and that isn’t considering that slightly bitter, and self-hating tone. Her emotions were already coming back, he wondered how her training was going on, surely she was getting somewhere, even with her still taking some of the medication.

“We were going to do some of our work outside, want to join us?” Diego asked, taking time with his words. That slow tone was something Klaus had missed - as mean as that made him seem.

Klaus merely nodded, and let Diego guide him outside, away from Grace’s eyes.

“Why are you taking a break?” Ben asked, his voice quiet. The other two seemed to wait for his answer as well though.

“He’s just sorting something out,” Klaus said. They would be angry once they knew, and that was _if_ Klaus had the right idea of what was going to happen in the next several hours. His memory said it took at least two hours, but that could have been the tiredness and the drugs making it last longer.

“How has training been?” Vanya asked. “I know you don’t like it.”

“It’s ok, we’re taking it slow, not sure why but he’s not asking for too much yet,” Klaus admitted, and he had wondered why he hadn’t been pushed back in the mausoleum just yet, but he wasn’t going to look a gifted horse in the mouth. He would let Reginald do this without complaint.

“Shouldn’t ask questions there,” Diego cut in, voicing Klaus’ thoughts. “Never ask why things are easy, that’s asking for trouble.” Diego shivered, as though recalling a bad memory, and there was an older part of Klaus that wanted to press and find out that memory from him, but he stopped himself.

“I don’t think I ever had an easy session,” Ben said, but his voice had taken that hollow tone that Klaus remembered from the worse days of his ghostlihood.

There had only been a few times that really stuck out that Ben had taken that tone, and once had been the scariest. Ben had been fading, almost losing his whole essence of himself and he had screamed at Klaus later that night, screaming his name over and over and Klaus had screamed back. For some reason, Ben had been the worst of them all, worse than every ghost in the mausoleum screaming added together. The morning sun seemed to bring Ben back, and Klaus had refused to let him know what had happened. Not when Ben had asked, worried and confused why Klaus was crying and flinching away from his voice.

“Have you done the war report?” Vanya asked, trying to draw Klaus back into the conversation that seemed to have continued without him.

Shaking himself, Klaus moved closer to Vanya, silently thanking her for not moving away, and they discussed the work that had been set by Pogo. It was easy to get lost in it, and Vanya was always easy to talk to. Focusing on what they were doing, Klaus found it easier to ignore the looks that Ben and Diego were giving him.

Lunch had been a somewhat tense affair. Five had appeared out of thin air to tell them that food was being served, and then disappeared before they could reply. The others hadn’t taken note of Klaus’ early end to training, but they were still curious about why he had taken Ben’s session.

These curious looks deepened as Reginald announced that Klaus’ presence was needed once more. He had left, ignoring the looks that were sent his way.

Klaus was hardly shocked when he saw the pale face that used to have a place in his nightmares the first few months out of the Academy. He had been expecting it, and he was almost glad that Reginald hadn’t concocted a new way to boost Klaus’ ability. He didn’t look as pitiful as he had in the past _or rather as he would in a few years_ , although Klaus wondered if being woken in the middle of the night had been the cause of it. Although it’s possible that it was because his wife hadn’t died yet, her ghost was nowhere to be seen.

“Number Four, this is Frank Tibbins, he has been brought here to help you bring forth your powers,” Reginald said, his eyes focused on Klaus as though he was an interesting beetle.

Frank was still overweight, his tattoos were simplistic and a little childish, cartoon characters as Klaus had learnt, but they covered his arms well. He looked good, he suited what he had chosen to decorate his body with. Looking over the tattoos made Klaus’ chest ache. He no longer had his own, even the palm tattoos. He had hated them for the longest time, but they were his own. He missed Dave’s name being etched into his skin. He missed the dog tags around his neck. He wanted Dave back, the Dave that would run his fingers over the block letters, smirking at Klaus’ huff as he managed to send a shiver down his back.

Klaus welcomed the mark that he was going to get, it would help him hold onto Dave a little more, to remember the feeling of him by his side. To just, not forget.

Blinking, Klaus swallowed, his throat dry and rough. Tibbins had unloaded his bag, pulling his equipment out one by one. Reginald was still watching him, something challenging in his eyes. Klaus wondered just what he was seeing. A disappointment, but had anything changed? Klaus had willingly walked into the lion’s den, agreed to something he wasn’t meant to know of, and hadn’t complained once, even now as instruments are being prepared, as the ink was being readied. He hadn’t hesitated.

A lady appeared behind Reginald, one of their old nannies, the one that Ben likely hurt as a child. She was frowning at him. Klaus still remembered the terror in her voice as she screamed at a younger Ben, he had hurt her, lost control and she had been the one to witness the birth of the eldritch monsters. She had been single, unhappy with her family when she came to work at the Academy, happy to take charge of a small baby, eager to give him everything he could ever need. She had paid for her job with her life. Klaus had known what Ben was capable of, of how he could tear through a human as though they were nothing. Her terror had faded in death, but the anger was still present. She resented Ben. Klaus knew it was still a few years away before she would leave - before she would tire of glaring at Ben.

“Number Four,” Reginald’s voice was almost smooth as it pulled Klaus back to reality.

Klaus nodded, not trusting his voice with the sudden memories of how this moment had passed years ago. He had been numb, angry and prideful. He had refused to let Reginald see how hurt he had been, and he was angry that no one noticed, that they had believed it had been his choice. How they truly thought it was the best rebellion that Klaus could do, to ink himself as though he was an Ouija board, despite how he _hated_ his power.

Setting his arm down on the table provided, Klaus opened his right hand. Better to start with _Hello_ , than _Goodbye_ , he reasoned.

All three were silent as the letters were inked into his skin. Klaus watched Tibbins work, feeling more at ease as the ache in his skin grounded him. He winced when tender sports were hit, but otherwise, Klaus stayed silent, biting his tongue not to talk. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. Dave hadn’t been the only one to be glad for Klaus’ hands, the others in the unit would take pleasure in them, greeting him silently and making sure he was alive. The few weeks, Klaus had felt wrong without them. He wasn’t sure if they did truly help his power, or if that had just been Reginald’s hope, but they were apart of him. Just as his umbrella tattoo. Despite being forced on him, they were apart of him. Something that made him feel like himself.

“Other hand kid,” Tibbins muttered, his voice loud in the silence. Tibbins moved to Klaus’ other side, the small table being offered for his left arm. Klaus looked down at his right, the words back where they should be, filling a hole in his chest, but opening another.

 _HELLO_.

He wanted to cry. Klaus wouldn’t be able to hold the hand up and let any of them know he was alive anymore. He wouldn’t be able to offer his right hand to Dave with a smirk of his own, a silent greeting that only the two of them knew.

He had to stop thinking, he had decided. Refocusing on the pain in his left hand, Klaus looked up to meet Reginald’s gaze. He had his notebook out, pen in hand, but his eyes were on Klaus.

“ _He_ _’s using you_ ,” the lady behind him said, her voice soft and tainted. “ _He has plans, big ones, he keeps writing about them_.”

Klaus had flinched slightly, and Reginald’s eyebrow rose at the action. Klaus knew that Reginald was using him, that was all he had ever done. Only this time, Klaus was willing to play the game, to manipulate the manipulator. He wasn’t a naive child. Reginald went back to writing in his book, and Klaus wondered what was written there, what observations he had made this time. Was Klaus surprising him? He had acted out of the ordinary, and Reginald always wanted them to be _extraordinary_ , that word always left a bitter sting in Klaus’ chest. Vanya had taken Reginald’s word and continued to twist it around them. He didn’t blame her, but it wasn’t something he appreciated.

Had Reginald found some respect for Klaus? For coming forward and asking for help developing his powers? Or did he expect it to happen at some point? The man had the tattoo idea for years, Klaus knew that. The fact they were forced on his body the first time showed how little Reginald cared about consent and what he thought. At least now, Klaus was the one making the choice.

That had to count for something.

It was almost mediative to have the blocked letters inked into his skin. It made the longing in Klaus' chest a little easier, although he did wonder just how everyone would react.

“You ok?”

Ben seemed to have been waiting to pounce because as soon as Klaus had moved away from the staircase, he was there, asking his question. It only gave Klaus a bit of a scare. He fought to keep his hands in his pockets, not wanting to reveal his secret just yet but Ben’s eyes had already narrowed at the unusual stance.

“What happened?” he asked, “what did he do?”

“Nothing,” Klaus tried to reassure him, but Ben’s time as a ghost had taught him well.

Ben reached forward and grasped the side of Klaus’ blazer and pulled him forward. He led him to his room, and Klaus followed silently, only regretting his choice a tiny bit.

“What did you do?” Ben hissed as he closed his door behind them.

Sighing, Klaus knew he couldn’t explain it well enough, so he just showed Ben his bandaged hands. He expected the hiss of disapproval.

“What did you do?” Ben repeated himself, sounding horrified.

“Dad agreed that my ability needed a boost,” Klaus said slowly.

“He - you _asked_ him?” Ben asked, incredulously. “After last time?”

He had only told Ben the truth of his tattoos on one drunken night. They had been out in the cold and Ben had been worried that Klaus would freeze to death, it was part of Ben’s plea to just keep talking, not to fall asleep and to keep moving. He had told him everything, how he had come home late and how he had done his best to stare Reginald down the whole time. Ben had been horrified and angry, so it was understandable that he seemed to think Klaus was being crazy.

“I made the choice,” Klaus agreed, and he hoped that it would be enough, but by the shaking of Ben’s head, it wasn’t.

“You’re insane,” Ben snapped. “This is - this is what you were talking about last week!” he realised.

Klaus laid back on Ben’s bed, waiting for the lecture to begin. He wasn't disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter features the siblings and another training session.


	5. Just Pushing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this is an early chapter because I've had a bout of motivation lately (wonder why!) and I wanted to do something nice for the new season, so I thought why not post early this week

Ben’s lecture had dwindled down as he realised just how little Klaus was listening to him, he had settled on a single question; “ _Why did you ask for them_?” and Klaus couldn’t bring himself to answer it honestly. Ben must have seen the look because he had dropped the subject, but his eyes continued to drift down to Klaus’ hands. It was a quiet night, but Ben stayed and climbed into Klaus’ bed, sharing his warmth. Klaus didn’t have the desire to tell him to leave, so he soaked up as much as he could, enjoying the time they spent together.

“Are you insane?” Five hissed the next morning. They only had a brief time before their lessons began, and the others had noticed Klaus’ hands at breakfast. “We cannot change anything!”

Luther was watching Klaus from behind Five, a frown on his face. The others were frowning too, or at least Allison and Diego, who were in Klaus’ eyesight.

“We did agree,” Allison said, “we’re here to help Vanya,” she added as if the reminder was needed.

“Why did you do it?” Luther asked, his voice still weirdly high compared to his past self, Klaus wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it.

“Did you hate not being the centre of attention for once?” Five snapped and Klaus made himself smile, as he always had.

“That’s enough,” Ben cut in.

“No Benny,” Klaus pushed him away from where he was trying to get between Five and Klaus. “I missed my babies,” he wriggled his fingers, feeling just how tight the skin on his palms felt.

“I cannot believe you took this stupidity to dad and he went along with it,” Luther shook his head.

They still believed it had all been Klaus’ idea. He was tempted to ruin the illusion, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Even though their distrust, they were all falling back into the routine of trusting Reginald, believing he knew what was best for their training and they were wary but responsive to him.

Their morning lessons, and morning meeting had been interrupted by Reginald clearing his throat in the doorway. Five stepped back, clearing some space between the two teenage bodies.

“Number Four,” Reginald said, his eyes only gliding across the others for a second. “With me.”

Klaus nodded, ignoring the accusatory stares on his back. He was almost thankful for the interruption. He was aware of how much he was responding to Reginald himself, it wasn’t just his siblings trusting and falling into old patterns. Klaus was finding a whole new step with his father, one that both scared him and made something broken ease within in.

Five didn’t mean anything truly bad, Klaus knew that. The old man was just so hyper-focused on the apocalypse that he was being overbearing over every tiny thing in the world. Given the chance to save Dave, Klaus would be the same. He’d do _anything_. God, he missed his voice.

Stepping out of the Academy in his father’s shadow, he realised just what was happening.

“Please,” Klaus said quickly, hating how his voice broke on the word. “Not the mausoleum. I can’t think there, it’s too loud. Can - can we try here first? The house has ghosts, a lot of them.” Klaus’ words were quick, and he was waiting for Reginald to sigh at his fear and call him a disappointment, but it didn’t come. Rather, Reginald considered him for a moment, and Klaus fought hard not to fidget in front of him. He swallowed the rest of the words that wanted to free themselves. That wouldn’t work in his favour, it never did.

“I suppose a reward is not out of consideration,” Reginald mused, and Klaus felt his body relax. His shoulders sagged and he took a shaky breath in. It was a small offer, one that wouldn’t be granted again, he knew that. Klaus had taken a step by going to him to ask for help, and Reginald wasn’t _unreasonable_ , if they put effort in, he would listen to them a little. Klaus had never been on the receiving end. From his own memories, it had been Diego and Luther that had managed this.

“Thank you sir,” Klaus said quietly. “I won’t let you down.” He let himself meet Reginald’s firm gaze again. He was toeing the line, but Klaus wouldn’t let himself be swept away in the madness that was Reginald, not like this. He was moving through the hoops to develop himself just enough that he could get by.

And yet, the nod that he got back before they turned around and made their way into a deeper, darker part of the Academy made something in Klaus’ chest calm. It was just the reassurance that he wasn’t going to the mausoleum, it had to be, he reasoned.

Reginald led the way down into the basement, towards the room that Klaus knew held Vanya for a period of her life, both in the past and the future. They veered off into another room before they reached the soundproof one. As soon as Klaus could see inside, he wished he was anywhere else. There were three ghosts in the room, and they were all more familiar than Klaus wanted to admit to anyone, let alone himself.

He hadn’t thought about these ghosts in a long time, how they had been confined to this room, he had no idea. It made no sense, Klaus had no reason to ever have come down here.

The first ghost turned and gave Klaus a wide grin, while the other two either glared or frowned.

They were the ghosts that Klaus hadn’t minded before he had gone to visit the mausoleum that first time. They had gone with him, interested in the new training. They hadn’t returned, not fully.

“Are there any non-living here?” Reginald asked, but Klaus was sure he already knew. “Remove the bandages and begin.”

Klaus just nodded, trying not to think of how scary that night had been. The mausoleum was terrifying, the ghosts there were twisted and too far gone in their ghostlihood, but these three hadn’t been. They had been teaching Klaus and talking to him like a normal person. He learnt German from the lady, the one that frowned. The old, stout man had been teaching Klaus etiquette and manners alongside general vocabulary, he had enjoyed quizzing Klaus, and answering questions when he seemed confused during their lessons. He was firm but gentle with his teaching. The man that was still grinning at Klaus had been the only one Klaus had truly thought of as a friend. This man, _Ricky_ , had been the one that Klaus went to when he felt bad.

They were all silent as Klaus’ undid the bandages on his hands, it was difficult to do but once they were loose, he shimmied them off. These ghosts knew Klaus didn’t enjoy the screaming. The stout man had been the one to impose on how important it was to not interrupt the living with their chatter.

Once his hands were freed, Klaus grinned down to his still red and tender hands. The black letters stood out, vibrant and thick.

“How do I?” Klaus muttered quietly to himself. He hadn’t pushed the ghosts away before, not like this. Definitely not without some aid. “There has to be a way, right?” he continued. Hoping that by voicing his thoughts, he would be able to figure something out. There was only one ghost that had followed him into the room, thankfully a quiet one, although that might have something to do with the bullet wound under his chin. He was staring at Klaus, blood seeming to spill from his lips. Between the three from his childhood and this one, bullet-man had to be the one to go. He couldn’t bring himself to even try to hurt the other three, not when he was just remembering the moments they had. The rest

How was he meant to push the ghosts away? He had tried before, hands pressed against his ears, _trying_ , hoping that something would happen. He had pictured light pushing them back to no avail. He had tried to forcefully keep them away with his mind. Nothing had worked. He had even tried in anger, to push Ben away once, to force his brother from his side after a particular moment that Ben wouldn’t leave. He had felt hopeless, and he wanted Ben gone, but he wouldn’t leave. Klaus had tried to hurt him, to dig into the insecurity there, to make Ben leave on his own accord before Klaus had screamed, pushing his hands towards his brother in the hope that he’d get the message. Ben had stumbled back, but that was all. They hadn’t spoken of that night since, but Klaus had noticed how Ben would linger behind when Klaus got angry with him trying to interfere in his life, how he would suggest that he go look and see if anyone was around. Perhaps that had been a step in the right direction.

Klaus looked down at his hands. _HELLO_ and _GOODBYE_ , he had joked throughout his other life that he was a walking Ouija board. He hadn’t taken Reginald’s actions as anything more than a way to continue controlling him, but what if he had been wrong? Almost everything he recalled from his childhood had been learning to channel the feelings, to meditate and keep himself calm during the moments that were anything but calm. Klaus didn’t remember much of what Grace taught him, slow breathing and trying to keep his focus. Even when he had been introduced to the Tarot cards and the Ouija board, Reginald had expressed his hope that it would help Klaus progress with his power, to find a starting point.

 _HELLO_.

 _GOODBYE_.

Pushing out with both hands hadn’t worked, but if his manic thought process was to be believed, they were opposing channels. Hello and goodbye could not work together at the same time.

Closing his right hand, he covered up HELLO. Klaus had always wondered why Reginald had chosen the hands he had, he had always been one to talk of how the left hand was meant to be the one closer to psychic powers, the hand you were supposed to pick the Tarot cards with, the one that would lead to a more intuitive choice. The theory of it all varied, the left hand was more connected to the heart, the left hand was controlled by the right side of the brain; the intuitive and more creative side. Klaus had never noticed a true difference between the two, often purposely using the wrong hand to pick the cards he drew, knowing how it would make Reginald’s eyes narrow. Perhaps that was why, payback, intentionally marking him _wrong_. There was still a chance that he could trust his right hand; _HELLO_ , to be a way of opening himself up, of reaching out for something more, whilst the left; _GOODBYE_ , may be the opposite. Allowing him to weaken the connection.

Klaus knew that a lot of the things he did relied on belief, even if he hadn’t been able to truly believe in his actions. He tried, willing to at least see if things seemed different.

Holding his left hand up to the ghost across the room, the one that was still just staring at him. Klaus watched, hoping that he would show a sign of _something_.

“Leave,” Klaus said, ignoring how his voice shook. He _hated_ talking to them. Hated allowing them to come closer and know that he knew they were there. The ghost just continued to stare at him. Klaus tried to remember how it felt when Ben would lecture him, how the days that he was sobering up would make him simmer, just ready to boil and how Ben wouldn’t hesitate to push him closer to that point. How the annoyance would start small in his stomach before it grew, how it would burn in his chest and warp his face into a snarl. Klaus’ mouth would dry more than normal, and his jaw would clench, he’d focus on one point, typically Ben.

Klaus let his right hand tighten further into a fist, trying to hold onto the feeling, he could feel his heart in his chest, and there was a faint hiss in his ears, as though water had gotten stuck. He focused on the ghost, seeing a faint impression of Ben before it settled into the silent observer that was stood across from him. His right hand had dipped, and he tried again.

“Leave me alone,” he hissed, the words quiet but powerful as he steadied his hand, trying to push the ghost away again.

Nothing.

Narrowing his eyes, Klaus embraced how annoying it was, how he had tried his whole life and they still wouldn’t listen to him. How he had given himself over to drugs just for relief, and how that had lead to no one. Klaus had no one. No one but a ghost - and that ghost wasn’t even by his side anymore. Klaus had lost his whole life because of the ghosts following him, and he refused to allow it to happen again.

The ghost in front of him stepped back, his eyes widening slightly. There was a gargling sound as he tried to say something, but Klaus didn’t want to hear it. He had had enough.

“Leave!”

Klaus watched in satisfaction as the ghost stumbled, his bloodied hands trying to catch himself against the wall.

They stared at each other for a moment, neither willing to make the first move, but Klaus knew how impatient Reginald must have felt. Turning slightly, he let his gaze wander to his father, the smug smirk still in place.

“He didn’t leave, but he was pushed back,” Klaus reported.

Reginald watched him for a second before nodding and writing in his book. The silent command of ‘ _again_ ’ loud in the room.

Yet, try as he might, Klaus couldn’t recreate as much of a success as that first time. He had pushed back the ghost, but no more than a few steps. The others had stepped forward, telling Klaus to use them to practice, all eager to help and chuckling as they were forced to step backwards. It felt like it used to, before the mausoleum had changed something.

It was nice to have them so willing, but Klaus could feel the strength of the migraine that was forming behind his eyes. It was the sixth time that Klaus pressed his hand to his forehead, pressing as much as he found while he took steady breathes that Reginald had cleared his throat and simply said; “Dismissed.”

Pogo had been waiting for him, ready to take him to the lesson that was ongoing. The stares that his siblings had given him as he entered were almost as harsh as the dead could be. Even Five’s glare from beside him as he sat had been enough to make Klaus wither into his seat, his hand once again pressing to his head.

His un-bandaged hand. The thick, block, dark ‘ _GOODBYE_ ’ clear. There wouldn’t be any mistaking what had happened, no excuse of hurting himself. Only his own selfishness.

Klaus didn’t focus too much on that though, not when the pain was still so heavy on his mind, and when the babbling of one ghost in the corner seemed to be scraping against every wall inside of Klaus. He wanted the pain to stop so he could keep going. Restraint had never been a key part of Klaus, when he wanted something, he would do what he could to get it, and right now, he _wanted_ to push the ghosts away and he had been so close. So many possibilities swam around his head, dodging the throbbing aches and the stabbing sensations as he wondered if his anger _had_ really been that important, or if it was just a way to get his foot in the door.

“Get up dumb ass,” Five hissed, nudging Klaus.

He knew what was coming, lunch was an early affair on a Sunday, and afterwards, the siblings were gifted half an hour of childhood antics. Half an hour of lesser monitoring where they were permitted to gather and _play_ , if they so desired.

Catching Ben’s face behind Five didn’t offer any reassurance, it seems as though they had all figured out how they wanted to go about this. Who was Klaus to disappoint? So on he went with their performance, following them down to lunch and eating what little he could without as much as a grimace, sipping on the cool water that only did a little to ease the ache in his brain.

Then their half an hour came, and Klaus found himself following a few steps behind, guessing who would be the next to turn and glance at him, ensuring that he was still following.

“What are you thinking?” Five hissed, not even waiting for Klaus to finish catching up.

It was a warm day, and the heat was even more stifling outside, barely a breeze to cool them down. Klaus had typically preferred the hotter days, and there was a small thrill as he saw the bead of sweat already beginning to form on Five’s brow.

“I think you’ll catch yourself sunstroke old man,” Klaus hummed, “I’m sure mom has some cream that’ll keep your sensitive skin safe.”

Five bared his teeth, but Luther pulled him back - or at least tried to. When his hand had moved to Five’s shoulder, the teen jumped, disappearing in a flash of blue and reappearing a few paces behind Luther, face red and hand pressed into his side - almost as though he had a stitch, perhaps having overworked himself so soon.

“We agreed no changes,” Allison said carefully, and her eyes were watching Klaus closely, taking in the untucked shirt and the bags under his eyes.

“No changes,” Klaus repeated, but he had stopped looking over at Allison, his eyes had drifted to their other sister. “How could I forget,” and even he was surprised at how bitter the words came out. Vanya flinched back, and surprisingly, Diego was the one to step forward - but then again, Klaus continued in his mind, he had always been one to protect the broken siblings. His past time used to be Klaus.

“You really think dad would agree to this if he hadn’t thought it would benefit him?” everyone, but Klaus, turned to stare at Ben, considering his words. “He hates doing what _we_ want. Why do you think Klaus had the tattoos last time after that night?”

Klaus turned sharply, glaring at Ben. The forgetfulness of his living brother was gone, instead, he had a burning hatred that his brother was living rather than dead. As quickly as it came, it passed and Klaus was left feeling disgusted. A glance around showed how little the other’s thought of Ben’s suggestion, but Ben’s eyes were trained on Klaus, and he looked hurt. He had caught the look.

Turning, Klaus ignored the calls to stop and _talk_ , he strode off back into the Academy, hoping to find Grace and take something to dull the ache in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh I have thoughts and feelings. I'm only 6 episodes through the new season because I promised my sister we'd watch it together (and how torturous it is for us both, but tomorrow we're finishing it). I love it, and there are things that are being addressed that I didn't think would be, which is great. And honestly, Luther's character development is good, I'm happy with what they did. I have so many thoughts and feelings and if you want to scream about them, just do so, be wary of the comments just in case, I think that's a good mindset until you're all caught up.


	6. Distance Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, it's been a while, and honestly, I'm only just getting my mojo back for writing. The You-Know-What in the world right now really left me in a strange place and I couldn't focus, so updates may be a little slow going, but I am doing my best to get back into something regular again. It's a weird time in the world and it seems that we're in it for the long-run still. I hope all of you are doing well, and that you're still interested in this silly story I am writing.

Things continued to be tense between the siblings as Klaus’ palms healed. His siblings had backed off from their open hostility, but they were still clearly unhappy with him. He hadn’t covered them since that first night, and he didn’t recall just how badly they had itched the first time. Of course, Klaus had been forced through withdrawal and a lot of that time had been a blurred blend of ghosts screaming as Klaus was overwhelmed.

How much things had changed.

As the days passed, Klaus did notice more ghosts drawing closer but he took it as a chance to practice his ability to push the dead away. He hadn’t gone five hours without training, be it because they had woken him up, or just finding a moment to himself to do his best to push them away. This determination had lead to Ben sending concerned glances towards him, perhaps due to the growing dark circles under his eyes. It wasn’t uncommon for Ben to follow Klaus after breakfast when neither of them were training. They would sit quietly, sometimes discussing what they were learning, but neither touched the topics of the tattoos until two weeks after they had healed.

Ben had been delayed in following Klaus, and he had entered the chilly room to see Klaus stood with his arm extended. He was tense, his feet shoulder-width apart, and there was something _unnatural_ , even to Ben. He couldn’t put a label on what it was, there had always been something off with Klaus, just like he had been sure that the others would say the same about him, and his monsters.

Ben looked around, trying to peer at what Klaus was reaching for, but he couldn’t see anything. Being dead had at least validated Klaus’ fear, Ben knew how horrifying the dead were. The only positive was their focus on his brother, yelling his name rather than Ben’s own. _Klaus could help_ , even he had felt the urge sometimes, that desire to be heard and to have Klaus help. Surely whoever he was reaching towards was one of these desperate beings.

Klaus laughed, but even that was _off_. It sent a chill down Ben’s spine and he was reminded of that very first day he had turned to Klaus. How he had appeared, shaking and scared, and how Klaus had only looked at him and laughed. How he had giggled out the words; “ _I knew it. He_ _’s going to kill us all.”_ As much as Ben knew he was still alive, his hand patted his chest and stomach, and the disgustingly reassuring sensation of the eldritch twisting greeted him. He wasn’t dead. Klaus wasn’t laughing at him again.

“What’s happened?” Ben hoped his voice was calm.

Klaus silenced, only tilting his head a fraction before his arm dropped to his side and he turned to face Ben. He hadn’t expected to be followed, nor had he expected to hear Ben’s voice. Perhaps he had been too focused. Ben was the only one that truly spoke to him lately, the others still bitter that Klaus had been the one to change things without any warning. Five had been running different calculations, and Klaus was only feeling a little guilty.

Looking beyond Ben, the room was empty.

Klaus’ bedroom was empty.

He couldn’t hold back another giggle. It had been the first time since he had been back that his room was free. The ghost that occupied the corner of his room was nowhere to be seen, nor was the few that had taken to following him through the Academy, wondering and in awe of Klaus’ ability to move them.

“I’m flying free baby,” he grinned more at Ben’s confused look. He hardly wasted time debating before he told Ben how he had been working on pushing the ghosts back, how today was the first day that he had managed to clear his room. That he had done more than just push them back a few paces.

“That’s amazing,” Ben grinned. “No more drugs?”

“No more drugs,” Klaus agreed, but he knew his own smile had dimmed. He knew that celebrating too early was risky, he still had a long way to go, and no doubt Reginald would push him until he was positive that Klaus had a hold on it. Or he’d leave Klaus to continue to figure it out.

“The other’s will be proud,” Ben said, his grin still wide, but Klaus wasn’t so sure in that statement. Not when things were still awkward and limited.

“Eh, let’s keep a surprise,” Klaus nudged his brother. “Don’t want to ruin the big reveal.”

Ben just shook his head, muttering about Klaus’ dramatic tendencies.

Ben seemed to keep the news to himself though, which was all that mattered to Klaus.

“Master Klaus,” Pogo interrupted their lesson later that day, and his siblings all stared. “Sir Reginald requests your presence immediately.”

Klaus nodded, ignoring his siblings’ stares. He smiled back to Grace, who squeezed his hand briefly as he passed his paper over to her. She had been a little more reassuring lately, and Klaus wasn’t sure why, but he enjoyed it. The small touches, a hand on his shoulder or his back as they passed each other, even the smiles and well wishes in a morning. It was comforting.

“What does dad want?” Klaus asked, following Pogo through the hall.

“Your father has noticed your progress and wishes to push you further in your training,” Pogo said quietly as they descended the staircase.

Perhaps it was from talking with Pogon after Reginald’s death, but Klaus caught the disapproval hidden away.

“Pogo,” he said quietly, quieter than Pogo had been, aware of just how many ways Reginald had to observe them all. “He’s not taking me back, is he?”

“From my understanding,” Pogo continued, acting as though Klaus hadn’t spoken, his voice at his normal volume, “this seems to be a new training, one that will require a more delicate handling than your past efforts.”

Klaus just nodded, understanding. He wasn’t going back to the mausoleum. It wasn’t often that Reginald would send him there in the middle of the day, but it wasn’t unheard of, so Klaus was always weary when he was called forward and asked to do an unplanned training set.

They continued beyond Reginald’s office, turning further away into a room Klaus hadn’t been inside of for years. He had faint memories of this room, dark and full of candles. There were five candles lit in the centre of the room, and Reginald stood against the wall, his trusty notebook open, pen poised, ready to write.

“Number Four!” he began, “I reviewed your success this morning. Report.”

“They were all gone,” Klaus answered promptly. He still hadn’t gotten around to destroying the new camera that had replaced the old one. Reginald had issued only a small threat when it was replaced; _“Number Four, observation is required for your training_.” Ben still seemed to be hanging over him, any step back in Klaus’ efforts could risk Ben - or any of the others, and Klaus couldn’t handle that being his fault.

He had already seen how tired Luther had been after his training, trying his best to get back into shape and up to the standard that he was used to. Diego also seemed to be pushing himself, both were often found training together, fighting and doing their best to win. Allison’s quieter tones were back, signalling a sore throat - her voice being overused and painful. Even Five seemed to be struggling with simple jumps. Ben was struggling still, readjusting to sharing his body, but he seemed to be the one that took to the training the easiest. Klaus hadn’t received a true update on Vanya - he hadn’t asked either, trusting the others to help her better than he could.

“All of them?” Reginald asked, already writing away.

“My room was empty,” Klaus continued. “I managed to put them all out, even the ones that had been there for years,” he couldn’t stop the grin as he spoke, but Reginald made no comment.

“A success indeed,” Reginald observed Klaus for a second before he made another note in his book, and Klaus had given up caring what was being written about him. “Into the centre,” he continued, glancing over to the five candles. “There are objects belonging to a non-living, bring them forward and describe their appearance.”

Klaus looked over to the candles with a frown. He hadn’t managed that too well before. They had only attempted it a handful of times, which often lead to Klaus being thrown into _exposure therapy_.

He had come further than before already though, so what did he have to lose?

Stepping over one of the flames, Klaus sunk down, crossing his legs. There wasn’t much room and Klaus could tell that the candles had been set up in a star pattern, five points, one in front of him, two behind, and two to the side. This wasn’t unusual - occult had been something Klaus had been taught and pushed towards.

Opening the box in front of him, Klaus noted the old wood, how it was warped and uncoordinated in how it sat. Inside the box were three items. The first Klaus pulled out; a broken watch. The glass was smashed, and the lack of a ticking seemed deafening in the silence. It seemed to be a male’s watch, thicker than the typical feminine watches. Placing it to the right of the box, Klaus moved onto the next item; an eye patch. Turning it over in his hands, Klaus wasn’t sure just what he was expecting from it, but there was something just out of his reach, an epiphany on the tip of his tongue. He took longer to let this item go before he turned to the last one. This was the strangest item, and while the others, Klaus could probably assume what this man looked like; perhaps shot, missing an eye, this was adding a mystery to that possibility. The final item was just a scrap of cloth. It was polka-dotted, red with yellow dots.

Moving the cloth aside, Klaus turned the box over in his hands, but it wasn’t long before he had put that back where it had originally sat, and had picked up the eye patch again. There had been something calling him back to this item. He ignored the fact that somebody might have worn this, as he let his fingers run over every inch of it, feeling the bumps from the stitches scratch at his fingertips.

He didn’t know how to call someone forward, not really. Even pulling Ben - who had been right in front of him - into the living had been difficult, but it could be a similar process. He had used both hands to pull Ben forward, but only one to push the ghosts away. Was it possible he had been limiting himself by using both _HELLO_ and _GOODBYE_? He was likely thinking too much into it, but even so, he couldn’t help but wonder.

Reginald was silent as Klaus moved the eye patch from hand to hand.

Letting it sit on his right palm, Klaus tried to focus. Whenever he had managed to manifest Ben, there had been a tightening in his torso, both his chest and stomach would contract and feel as though they were squeezed, but he didn’t know how to force that feeling.

The room was quiet. Klaus hadn’t heard a ghost shout his name since this morning, was it even possible to bring a ghost into this silence? Klaus had been tasked with drawing ghosts forward before, but it wasn’t something that came easy to him. He had faint memories of ghosts glowing blue and pulling them into reality but they were as holdable as fog.

Klaus closed his eyes, his right hand holding the eye patch and there was a faint hint of _something_ just beyond him.

How long he stayed like that, his eyes closed, holding onto whatever it was, he didn’t know. Pulling Ben forward had been difficult, a battle of wills, the universe against him it seemed, but this was like thick quicksand holding him back. He struggled to pull himself back, opening his eyes and meeting Reginald’s expectant stare.

“I -” Klaus didn’t know what to say. He didn’t have a true starting point. “I don’t know how to reach them.”

“Focus Number Four,” Reginald said calmly. “Assess and adapt. If one possibility does not achieve results, adapt the method.”

It was something that he had been told time and time again, but Klaus had to at least try. He’d get nowhere giving up now.

He balanced the eye patch on his lap where his legs were crossed. Closing both hands into fists, Klaus shut his eyes, searching for that feeling again. He tried to mentally pull it forward, rotating his wrists just slightly as he used to with Ben. It would work, and that stiff, thick, struggle was back, where Klaus was wading through the universe to do the impossible - but when he opened his eyes, there was still nobody ahead of him.

His hands were blue though. That bright blue that Ben would turn.

“That is a step forward,” Reginald pointed out, and his words made the blue fizzle from Klaus’ hands. “What might be inhibiting your ability Number Four?”

Klaus bared his teeth for a second before he composed himself. He wasn’t sure if his father was asking if he had taken anything, but it felt like it. _Are you drunk Klaus_? _Have you taken anything Klaus_? It wasn’t an unfair assumption, but it still stung. Klaus was being monitored though, he knew that. He wasn’t so stupid to think that Reginald wouldn’t be watching his every action to ensure that his effort was not going to waste. He knew Klaus was clean.

So he was asking for something else. What else could be stopping Klaus? That was the question. Klaus considered his response, his tattoos seemed to be helping - be it a placebo or truly helpful.

“I’m not sure what I’m meant to do,” Klaus said slowly. “I’m trying but I’m working blind,” which was true, Klaus had no way of knowing who or what this person was, other than potentially a pirate. “I haven’t seen any ghosts either,” Klaus added, “not since I pushed them away earlier.”

“Therefore,” Reginald prompted.

“I need to undo it,” Klaus answered, and that was a daunting task. How would he even let the ghosts back. He had _really_ wanted them gone, he doubted he’d be able to show the same amount of desire to have them back.

Suddenly, a shrill alarm sounded, and Klaus jumped to his feet, as he had been trained to. Even on the years that he didn’t leave with the others, he still had reacted.

“Go,” Reginald nodded, and Klaus ran out of the room.

He turned through the halls and took the stairs two at a time. No doubt Pogo was assessing the situation before Reginald could get there. He could hear the others fumbling through their rooms, and there was a brief flash of blue as Five jumped somewhere. Sliding into his room, Klaus grabbed the mask. It was on his table - where it had always sat. Luckily, they wore the same thing, so he didn’t need to shimmy into the outfit they had once practised with. It had threatened their response time, so it had been cut from their preparation.

Klaus’ breath wasn’t returning to normal. It continued fast and short. It wasn’t even a large distance to run, not really, they often ran through the halls and Klaus would be one of the quickest to recover. He was nervous, and Klaus laughed when he realised it. He was actually nervous about going on a mission. It had been years and these earlier missions weren’t too difficult.

But it had been years. Klaus had never really been useful on these missions.

“Klaus, come on!” someone shouted, but Klaus was just staring down at his mask.

He had tried to be useful, he’s trying to do better, and there was a part of him that was nervous about what would happen on the mission, how quickly he’d fall back into old habits. He tried to tell himself that he was going to do his best, that he wouldn’t hide away and leave them. Not like before.

His hand shook as he put the mask to his face.

“Klaus!”

Turning, he followed the voice, ready to face whatever might be happening. It had been a long time since they had been back and he refused to let the first-ever mission go badly because of his actions.

The others were waiting for him by the stairs. They descended together - as they always had been taught. As a group, or not at all (unless it was a mission that only required a selection of them).

“Into the car,” Reginald commanded when they were in view, he led the way.

The mission was fairly simple. Another bank robbery, a group of seven behind it, and a selection of hostages to keep the police at bay. They were keeping away from the windows, hidden deeper in the building, but shooting down at anyone that got close enough from a vantage point that was unreachable.

The siblings somewhat worked together, falling into their old habits. Five jumped ahead, making sure the path was clear before the others came. Diego threw his knives, moving second while Luther covered the back of the group. Allison and Ben refrained from using their abilities, but even so, the challenge was over with quicker than they had all expected. Five’s ruthlessness handling most of the people trying to get away with the money they had stolen.

Klaus, Ben and Allison worked to calm the hostages and get them out of the building safely. There were a few ghosts that seemed shocked and newer than the calmer ones watching the on-goings.

Klaus had shouted out a warning that there may be some civilian’s dead, so the others should keep a look out for them, but the others had been busy restraining and taking care of the others.

Overall, the mission had been successful. Three civilians had been killed for trying to escape or trying to overpower their attackers before the siblings had arrived. Reginald hadn’t been pleased, but there had been nothing they could do to undo these deaths. The siblings had sat through a lecture of being quicker, reacting faster to the alarm being raised.

“Extra training this week, I expect all of you to take the intuitive to boost your reaction times,” Reginald had said before dismissing them.


	7. Names

The extra training that had been set for them had left them tired and worn out. They had done it though, and they were working together again, seemingly effortless - even though they all were aware of how much of a struggle it had been to return to this level of precision. It was strange for each of the siblings to relearn just how to work together in their teenage bodies, and to firmly build themselves back up to a strength that was comfortable.

The next mission that occurred ran smoothly, almost easier than the first. Once again, Ben, Klaus and Allison were tasked on hostage retrieval, ensuring the area was safe and keeping people safe, while the others dealt with the bigger issues. Allison had promised to use her ability when needed, but they all knew how reluctant she was, so they kept her away from the main fight. One mission, and then another, and another. This new routine settled easily, and Klaus was thankful that he wasn’t set as lookout again, that he wasn’t alone.

“Vanya’s down to half a pill a day,” Ben had told him one morning, and Klaus had no reply. He had many questions, but he wasn’t even sure how long they had been in the past. “I told you she went back up to one a day, right?” Ben asked, and Klaus nodded, even though he didn’t remember. “She thinks she can handle her emotions, we’re trying to keep her calm and out of dad’s way.”

“Probably for the best,” Klaus added, feeling a strange sense of loss. He hadn’t made an effort to really be around his siblings, he was used to being mostly alone. He knew he was difficult to get along with, and he didn’t want to jeopardise Vanya’s progress at all. It was probably for the best that they kept their distance, Klaus had been fighting a very specific itch that sat under his skin and no doubt that would only come out in the worst ways around his siblings. They were uneasy around each other, partly due to the stained hands Klaus had been happy to get back.

Klaus’ hands were completely healed, the black words clear and eye-catching and each time his brothers caught sight of them, a scowl would appear.

It was almost too easy to avoid the others, Klaus found as the days passed on. Between everyone’s training and completing their school work, time alone was simply the easiest way. Or perhaps, the others grouped together without a thought for Klaus. Although, he supposed that wasn’t entirely fair. Allison and Vanya would both smile and talk to him when they had the chance, and Ben would seek him out at least a few times in the silence.

It wasn’t solely _their_ fault he felt left out, he knew that. Klaus didn’t make the effort, but he found that by focusing on the loneliness, it was easier for him to continue to play with his powers. The silence of the ghosts in his room were intoxicating. Despite that, the itch was still there, and he used that to focus on his own training. If he pushed himself enough, he could ignore the way his fingers would shake and his chest would stutter with need.

He didn’t want his siblings to see any trace of that need though, so he hid how his fingers would stutter and how he’d gulp down an extra glass of water, just imagining that it was as satisfying as swallowing a pill. He tried to distract himself, but his attention would always waver.

During the times that Klaus couldn’t focus - which happened at least three times a day, he would find himself reaching under his pillow. It had been something he had almost forgotten about after he had left the Academy in his previous life. His first few nights had been an adjustment to the small rectangular box. It was firm under the soft pillow, helping him sleep. Soft bedding wasn’t often used on the streets, it was a treat - one that would typically keep him awake because of how unusual it was.

There had been a sense of being welcomed home when he had first reached for the box. Giddiness and eagerness urging him to open it and he had smiled, even through his withdrawal. The cards were just as he remembered, and it felt like nothing had changed.

When he couldn’t focus, Klaus would sit on the floor, opening the box without thought and pulling the Tarot cards from within. He didn’t often pull a card, but he shuffled them a lot. The repetitive motion eased something inside of him, keeping his hands busy and every so often a card would fall from his shuffling, and he would regard it with a small smirk, the meaning rushing around his brain before he added it back into the stack.

Late at night, he had found the Nine of Swords jumping forward to him, telling him exactly why he wouldn’t try to sleep. Bad dreams, depression, anxiety in the simplest meaning. He had given in one night, sat with only a candle to light his view and he focused on his cards. There was a hint of unease as he focused, the last reading he could remember was done after Five’s disappearance, trying to find some sense of hope that his brother was alive.

He pulled three cards to start with, no true thought, just reflecting on everything that he had been through, the first card he had pulled was The Tower in reverse; disaster had been avoided and a personal transformation was taking place. Then, the Seven of Swords, talking about betrayal and deception, but also getting away with a sneaky plan. Finally, The Fool, talking of new beginning's. It was welcoming, as silly as it was, the cards still seemed to understand him. Continuing to shuffle, Klaus wondered about the future, drawing two cards and laying them under the original three, he had the; Wheel of Fortune, good luck and change coming forward, as well as the Two of Swords, a difficult choice ahead, one he needed to think carefully about before settling on a choice. The final card that Klaus pulled to complete his reverse triangle, he considered his family and what might happen, how they would come together on this path. Swallowing, Klaus considered his final card, the Two of Cups in reserve. Disharmony, distrust and a breakdown in relationships. The faint promising side was an influx of self-love, the cards thought that Klaus would grow and start to love himself more as he went down this path.

Putting them away, he ignored the quiet voice in his mind telling him to sneak out and finally find something to take. The cards were fairly brutal, that hadn’t changed. It seemed as though things would go well but his family would break down. Of course, the future was never guaranteed, it was one possible way forward, or a moment in the near future. It didn’t mean anything, he tried to reassure himself, but there was a pit in his stomach for the rest of the night as he thought about it. His family always did have a habit of breaking apart in the worst ways.

Vanya caught him in the morning before he could disappear after breakfast. It was Allison’s training day.

“Klaus, how are you?” Vanya asked, offering him a grin.

“Learning every day,” Klaus replied with a grin, it was no secret that he would settle in either a corner of the library or his room after breakfast, it had started as a way to distance himself.

“I was hoping to join you to-” Vanya’s words came to a halt as she looked over Klaus’ shoulder.

A chill worked it’s way up his back. They had watched Allison disappear into a room to prepare for her training, but Vanya’s worry only hinted at one person.

“Come along Klaus,” Reginald said, his words firm.

Klaus and Vanya both froze at the name. Reginald had _never_ used their names. Not a single time.

“Number Seven, you are to go to Grace and continue with your History tutoring,” he continued, ignoring the shock radiating from the two teenagers.

Klaus’ eyes had focused a little at Vanya’s number. His father played dirty, that was for sure.

“Of course,” Klaus said, nodding to Reginald. He gave Vanya a grin, hoping that she wouldn’t mention what had happened. It was a hopeless hope. Reginald _didn_ _’t_ use their names. Of course, this was big news. He couldn’t blame his sister for that. He just hoped that no one mentioned it. It was a losing battle because once they heard, they’d ask.

Following his father, Klaus had to jog to keep up. Once they were out of sight, Reginald slowed his step. It was most likely that everyone else was busy or otherwise occupied, but it meant that Klaus could walk alongside his father.

“Ask your question,” Reginald said after a moment.

“Why didn’t you use my number?” Klaus asked. He rarely was given permission to ask what he wanted, so he didn’t waste a moment. There was no use trying to beat around the bush either, he had done that previously and had the right to questions taken away.

“Would you rather be Number Four?”

Klaus didn’t mind being Four. Four out of the seven wasn’t a bad place to be. Four would be overlooked, shadowed by the more interesting numbers. Four was the one people chose when things went wrong. If they didn’t know anything, go for the middle, if something was wrong, blame the middle. Klaus was used to that. At one point he had held so tightly onto his own name, despising his number, but something had changed after he had lived his life, he didn’t mind being ignored now.

“I just don’t understand,” Klaus said slowly. He was rarely so honest with Reginald. It had happened more often since their return to the past, and he knew that this would likely be used against him in some way, but he wanted to know. They had all assumed that Reginald had known their powers all along, that he had numbered them in order of importance, of strength. Normal Vanya, the useless Number Seven. That couldn’t be true. Klaus had wondered, one freezingly sober night after he had cleared the weed out of his teenage bedroom, what if they were wrong? What if they hadn’t gotten the order right? Vanya, _normal_ Vanya had the power to destroy the world. What if Reginald had known all along? What if their numbers weren’t strength, but weakness? Vanya was able to do so much more than anyone knew. Ben was deadly with his monsters, and Five could move through time.

“You children are destined for great things,” Reginald said quietly. “Your Number’s are to remind you of that potential.”

So why had he used _Klaus_? What purpose was there in Klaus’ name?

“What -”

“You are to prepare for a mission,” Reginald interrupted him, cutting off the question that Klaus was still unsure of. He didn’t know what he had been going to ask.

“A mission?” Klaus repeated dumbly.

“Indeed. You shall accompany myself to a seminar and observe the surroundings,” Reginald continued, his voice clear but the words were still not making sense to Klaus. They hadn’t been permitted solo missions until their late teens - and Klaus had never been permitted a solo mission.

“What am I watching for?”

They had reached Reginald’s office, and Klaus lingered back as his father strode forward to his desk. He picked something up, staring down at whatever the paper held.

“You see more than I,” Reginald said, and it was spoken so simply that it took Klaus off guard. “I merely wish to have my thoughts _confirmed_.”

Klaus nodded, and Reginald thrust the paper towards him. It was a pamphlet. _Connect with the dead. Speak to your loved ones. The afterlife has a message for you._ He didn’t read anything else. That was what Reginald meant, Klaus could see the dead and he wanted confirmation. Hardly anything dangerous or worrisome.

“When are we going?” Klaus asked.

“This evening. Grace will prepare you an early meal before we leave.”

And just like that, Klaus had been dismissed again. He wondered if Reginald was planning on turning the children against each other. Singling Klaus out with his own name would likely do enough to make him the outcast. There had to be a reason - something beyond just a solo mission. A snide, unwelcome voice offered the memory of his final card; _distrust_. He forced the thought away.

Klaus was dismissed as quickly as he had been called, and he had no doubt that his father would now make his way to Allison to complete the morning. He would often be so frustratingly stuck to routine after tilting the world as Klaus knew it.

“What did dad want?”

They had been waiting in his room, preparing their ambush.

Klaus just hummed, his mind still asking the same question as they were. It hadn’t made sense. He had tried to understand it the whole walk back. Their numbers had meaning to remind them of their potential. So just what did _Klaus_ mean? Klaus was just a drug-addled waste - or that’s what he had been before. That was all Klaus had managed to accomplish, so why would his father break the pattern now? What could it mean?

“Klaus?”

Looking up, Klaus realised how nervous his siblings were. Schooling his expression, they seemed to relax. All but Ben. Of course, Ben had learnt to read him.

“What did he want?” Ben asked.

“Just training. He keeps making me summon ghosts and ask them questions, it’s all very tråkig.” _Boring_ was too kind of a word for it. Klaus had a headache coming on and he just wanted to crawl into his bed and rest until dinner. He didn’t feel guilty for the lie, technically this _mission_ would be training in a sense.

“Nothing else?” Ben asked.

“Ich würde dir sagen, du weißt das,” Klaus muttered. Seeing Ben’s raised eyebrow, he translated for the language inept, “I would tell you,” he left off the _you know this_ , because that felt too personal for Klaus to say around the others. He would tell Ben, or at least he would have considered it. Ben’s unamused stared seemed to say that he knew Klaus wasn’t being honest, which hurt.

“German?” Ben asked.

“Bravo!” Klaus cried, raising a finger and tapping his nose once. They had stumbled through Klaus’ high mumblings, he wouldn’t stay in one language, so Ben would guess the language. A fun game for the cold, dark nights. “The first one?”

“Not one you normally use,” Ben frowned, but he was thinking. No doubt trying to place the word.

“Swedish,” Klaus grinned. “Boring, _tråkig_.”

Ben nodded, probably placing the word in some mental dictionary. He was bound to have one. It almost made Klaus miss the drunken nights on the street, communicating through gestures and snark with his brother. He missed the simpler moments.

“Why did he say your name?” Vanya asked, and it was clear that they all wanted to know the answer with how firmly their gazes fixed back onto Klaus’ face.

“You know daddy,” he said with a cheeky grin, “when does he ever answer a question? Probably thought it might finally kill me and I’d leave him alone.”

Whilst it eased the suspicion of the others, as Klaus’ teasing tended to, it left Klaus alone in his unease. They talked about nonsense - or rather, Vanya. She preened under their compliments and admitted her worries to him in the safety of his bedroom, unaware of the camera recording their interaction. Klaus was almost sure that the audio wasn’t recorded, otherwise Reginald would have questioned him on some of the more worrisome things he had said during the dark nights, but the picture they made would likely seem odd.

“Seems like you’re doing really well,” Klaus offered his own praise, trying to hide the sense of loneliness that wanted to make itself known. He was the one not reaching out with her training, so there was no need for him to feel it. He’d only seem spoilt if he made them feel bad for his own doing. So he just settled back, letting the others talk and nodding when it seemed right to. Their words managed to distract him from the impending doom of a solo mission.

Klaus didn’t let himself relax when his siblings finally left him alone. Instead, he closed his door, pushing his chair against it so it was unlikely to be opened. He wanted to be ready for whatever he might face tonight. As much as he hated to do it, Klaus spent the next few hours trying to tear down whatever block he had made by pushing the ghosts away.

He didn’t manage it completely, but the wisps of ghosts had begun to appear in his vision by the time that Grace came to knock on his door. It was better than nothing, he just hoped that he didn’t ruin whatever trust Reginald had seemed to place in him. Perhaps the walls of the Academy were the key to what kept the ghosts at bay, an illusion of safety at home.


	8. The First Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I an unreliable updater? Slightly. I ended up taking a while off for the holidays and then just struggled to get back into it. Theoretically, I might be able to be a little more regular with the updates with the new lockdown happening where I am. So here's to hoping!

Klaus knew it was a privilege, he knew that the opportunity he had was one that none of his other siblings had received this early in their life. Klaus had the chance to prove himself, to show his father just how much he had improved and how serious he was about making himself useful. He should feel honoured, not scared.

His heart shouldn’t be pounding in his chest as he sat in the uncomfortable chairs. His eyes shouldn’t dart around the room, cataloguing just how many people were around them. He tried to unclench his hands from the fabric of his shorts, but his fingers were too stiff.

It was a simple task. Observe. That was all.

Reginald sat stiffly beside him, they were at a convention, one for members of the Occult. Klaus knew it was unlikely to be useful, but he was determined to prove to his father that he was trying. The lady stood on the stage was from Europe, her whole being screamed dark and depressed. Her smile seemed misplaced on her face, almost as though she had stolen another’s smile. Her eyes scanned the crowd as she spoke, the words soft and alluring. They all believed her, that much was clear.

“There are so many beings around us, the stage is almost overflowing,” she lied. There was no ghost by her side, a few were scattered among the crowd, standing by loved ones. This lady was making a brand out of lying to people, using their grief as a way to make money and using their pain to feel good.

Perhaps she believed she was telling the truth. Klaus was willing to offer her that doubt until she started to guess letters, waiting for the audience to jump in and offer a name and a connection to them. The ghosts seemed dejected, hurt and angered at the treatment, but Klaus could only watch, his anger growing on behalf of the dead, but he did nothing. It wasn’t his place to step in. He didn’t want that responsibility.

“Well?” Reginald had asked once the lady had left the stage, he didn’t lower his voice or wait for the audience to leave. Subtlety was never a care for one as eccentric as his father.

“She was lying,” Klaus said simply, he had no mercy for this woman. “There were no ghosts on the stage, there’s a lot around us, but she couldn’t see them.”

“I thought as much,” Reginald sniffed.

“Excuse me,” a younger lady interrupted, her eyes were red and she held onto a tissue. There was a man by her side, barely older than her. He had cuts down his face, his head seemed to be crushed and Klaus couldn’t look at him too much. “What do you mean she was lying?”

“She was letting everyone answer their own questions,” Klaus said slowly, trying not to be too harsh with the obviously grieving lady. That was part of why he refused to work with ghosts, he wasn’t good at being gentle with others. Vulnerable people made him uncomfortable.

“ _I knew it was stupid_ ,” the ghost by her side huffed. “ _Jess, I know you want to hear me but this isn_ _’t helping you move on_.”

Klaus felt for them both. He knew how much he longed to see and hear Dave, how he was still holding onto developing his powers just in case he can call him forward.

“Look, I don’t want to assume anything,” Klaus said, unable to stop himself even with the desire to hit himself over the head. Reginald kept quiet, observing the interaction with interest. “I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to be beating yourself up like this, however, he died, it wasn’t easy and you’re making things harder on yourself.”

“ _Exactly what I_ _’ve been saying_!” the ghost exclaimed, his excitement paused as Klaus winced at the loud tone. “ _Can you hear me_?” there was raw desperation in his voice, almost as though the idea was something magical. “ _Please, I just need her to know that it wasn_ _’t her fault. The crash. She keeps blaming herself._ ”

Klaus’ eyes met the ghosts and an expression of relief washed over him. Klaus hated being in this position, seeing ghosts that hadn’t lost themselves so desperate to talk to their loved ones, to ease the guilt and the pain. He had tried to help them in the early days, but they had overwhelmed him. It seemed as though every ghost knew Klaus had helped some and they had swarmed him, desperate to be heard and to connect with their loved ones.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Klaus found himself saying, mentally berating himself for his weakness. All the eyes of the people around them had turned to watch what was happening and he could feel the interest thick in the air. “The crash, you shouldn’t blame yourself for it.”

Jess’ eyes watered, and she held a hand to her mouth. The tissue was forgotten as she stared at Klaus through her tears.

“ _Thank you, tell her I love her, please. I miss her so much_ ,” the ghost’s voice broke as he spoke, and the other ghosts around were silent, almost vibrating in their place with how much effort it was taking to restrain themselves. Klaus appreciated that effort though.

“He loves you and he misses you,” Klaus said, the ghost by Jess’ side sagged in relief. “He doesn’t want you to blame yourself,” Klaus continued, knowing that she needed to hear it as much as he probably did. The only thing was that no one was there to tell Klaus this. “Holding onto him so much and doing everything you can to reach him isn’t healthy, he is here but you’re part of why he can’t move on himself. Ghosts stay around for a reason, and he wants to make sure you’re alright.”

Klaus knew that was he was saying was true, Jess’ pain was part of what was keeping the male ghost by her side. She wasn’t able to see him and he couldn’t show her he was there, but he had such a need to help her, he couldn’t leave.

“He’s here?” Jess whispered. “Please - I need him to know I’m sorry.” There was a mixture of tears and snot running down her face, and Klaus had a vision of her throwing herself against him. He tried not to step back in horror, thankfully the woman stayed in place.

“He knows, but he doesn’t blame you. He doesn’t want you to blame yourself either,” Klaus explained gently, repeating the words he had already spoken.

“ _She wasn_ _’t there, it can’t be her fault_ ,” the ghost huffed.

“It’s not uncommon to blame yourself even when you aren’t there,” Klaus told the ghost, remembering how much he still blamed himself for how Ben had died in the original time-line. He hadn’t been on the mission, but what if he had, or what if he had managed to take Ben’s place.

“ _It_ _’s stupid_.”

“Grief can be stupid,” Klaus offered him a smile, but it fell at the confused looks from the audience around him. Reginald coughed beside him, and Klaus refocused on Jess, understanding the call to refocus. “He doesn’t blame you, and he wants you to take care of yourself. Travelling to see some lady that claims she can speak to the dead isn’t helping you at all.”

“Who are you?” one of the men watching asked, his eyes wide as he looked between Klaus and Jess.

Klaus felt Reginald’s hand on his shoulder.

“Number Four, The Séance is a member of the Umbrella Academy, he has the ability to commune with the dead,” Reginald’s voice was full of pride, as it always seemed to be when he spoke of his extraordinary children. Klaus’ back straightened and his heart seemed to warm in his chest. He met the eyes of the small impromptu crowd with ease, as he had been taught.

“How do we know you’re telling the truth? Those kids are freaks but there’s no proof of him talking to the dead,” a snide, nasal voice cut in.

Klaus looked over to the lady, she stood tall, her hair almost twice as big as her own head. She wore a horrible yellow cardigan. She had a young boy with her, who was squirming where he stood. Klaus remembered being that small, hating the attention that was thrown at him and how he would have preferred to hide behind someone who would keep him safe.

Behind the child, there was a shimmer of blue, one that caught Klaus’ attention. It wasn’t the boy, whoever it was, seemed scared, confused and hurt.

Looking over to Reginald, he not a nod in response and slipped past his father so he was closer to the young boy and the ghost hiding. They were still a few seats away, but Klaus was close enough. The ghost seemed weak, very loosely connected to the family.

“What are you doing?” the lady spat, glaring as Klaus looked at her son.

A young face peered out from behind the boy’s shoulder. There seemed to be a few years between the two children. It was a young girl, her face bruised and it seemed as though one of her eyes was swollen and painful. She seemed to be connected to the boy, trusting him more than the lady.

“Hi,” Klaus said gently, talking to the two children, he showed his ‘ _HELLO_ ’ hand, hoping to offer some strength to the young girl. “My name is Klaus, I want to ask you if you can help me a little bit. It’s nothing scary, I just want you to close your eyes and think really hard about your family, can you do that?”

The young girl blinked with her one good eye, stepping out a little more from behind the boy to look at Klaus. The boy nodded timidly, looking up at the woman for a second before he nodded more confidently.

Klaus just hoped that it worked with the both of them. He hadn’t managed it in this timeline yet, but he knew it would be a huge step forward. After the trust and the pride Reginald had shown, Klaus _needed_ to earn it. He knew how to pull a ghost forward, he knew what to search for.

He waited for the boy to close his eyes before Klaus copied him, focusing on the young girl and feeling her energy strengthen. It drained him, as he was adding more of his own to hers but using the faint connection between the boy to help guide him. That connection was exactly what he needed, pulling it closer and helping it grow enough to keep her steady.

Klaus continued to go until he heard the people around them gasp. Opening his eyes, he saw the girl in a more human colour, the bruises on her face and arms yellowed and dull, but her eye seemed bloody, there was also a cut on her lip.

Klaus couldn’t hold it, and he saw the blue on his hands fade into nothing before the girl blipped back into her blue hue. She was looking at him in shock, fear in her eyes as she tried to reach for her brother.

“Holy fuck,” a voice muttered.

“That had to be fake.”

“There was no one there.”

“Who was that?”

The lady was pale, staring at the space by the boy as if she had seen a ghost.

“His ability is still developing,” Reginald explained, his voice strong and clear. “We have found that his ability to draw the non-living into view is still difficult to control, but in time, he will overcome this challenge. Now, we should depart.”

Klaus followed his dad, his head spinning but he knew better than to mention any weakness in public. A car was waiting for them, thankfully, Klaus wasn’t sure he’d be able to walk too much further.

“Report,” Reginald commanded once the door was shut behind them.

“There were a lot of ghosts Sir,” Klaus started, resting his head against the seat. “I didn’t get the name of any. The ghost with Jess was a young man, he had been in a crash, and he was frustrated that she was blaming herself. The young girl was quiet, she didn’t say anything, she stayed by the boy. I believe they were siblings.”

Reginald hummed before asking, “what was the purpose of involving the child?”

Klaus wasn’t sure if the question was a test, or if Reginald was confused.

“The girl seemed closest to the boy, she wasn’t strong, I don’t think it’ll be long before she fades or loses herself,” Klaus admitted. Her pull to the living was so weak, it was a wonder how she was still so clearly connected to the boy. “I didn’t know what pulling her forward would do, I thought sparing the boy might be kinder than allowing him to see her as she is. It also proved my ability to the crowd, it exposed the fraud, or cast some doubt on her. I followed my instincts.”

Reginald hummed again, considering and thoughtful. Klaus shifted, unsure if he had made the right choice to be honest. Weakness was frowned on, and he wouldn’t be allowed to spare his siblings as he had the child.

“Perhaps for the best,” Reginald said slowly after a minute.

Klaus sighed, thankful for how simply the matter was dropped, but aware that it might still come back to bite him. He didn’t care though, not when his eyes were already threatening to shut and he longed to sleep. He had been pushing himself more lately, and he knew he wasn’t taking care of himself enough to compensate for it. Hopefully, Reginald wouldn’t mind him sleeping on the way back to the Academy.

“You will continue to develop this power of drawing the non-living forward,” Reginald said suddenly into the silence as they exited the building.

“I will,” Klaus promised. “It’s easier when there’s something to anchor them,” he explained. He had been the anchor for Ben, by not passing on, Ben had tied himself to Klaus. Something they both had tried to ignore until he had been too late.

“Have you managed to undo what you had done to push them away from the Academy?”

“Slightly,” Klaus winced, he had tried a few times, but the ghosts would just fizzle in front of him before disappearing again. “I’ll keep working on it,” he promised.

“See that you do,” Reginald nodded.

Klaus slumped back against the seat, letting his eyes fall close. It had been a success, or at least enough of one that he felt almost giddy. He knew that he had a ridiculous grin on his face, and even though his father hadn’t said as much, Klaus knew he was impressed with what had happened. His tone had been softer than normal, and he had let Klaus ramble his answers.

He felt happy.

It wasn’t too late when they arrived back at the Academy. It was almost time for the siblings to retire to bed, and Klaus knew he wouldn’t need any prompting. The light dozing he had done hadn’t recovered much of his energy.

Klaus didn’t want to waste any time, so he made his way up the stairs. He still found it strange to re-walk paths of his past, especially with a new light. The warmth in his chest still hadn’t dissipated yet, and it was easy to forget most of the negative experiences that had occurred. That was a fault that Klaus knew of himself though, kind words and praise would often skew his memory in favour of people. He refused to let it work this time though, his father was not a nice person.

“Why aren’t you helping with Vanya?”

Klaus came to a stop as he walked into an arm blocking the hall. His bedroom was so close, and yet so far. Turning to the voice, Diego stood, his face twisted into a grimace.

“I’m not much help,” Klaus pointed out. It wasn’t spite driving the words, but honesty. Ghosts and Vanya’s powers were too different, and Klaus still didn’t have complete control. The most he could do was advise his sister on meditation on the small chance it helped her more than it had him. “At least Vanya’s getting useful help from you all.”

“Stop being selfish,” Diego snapped, his eyes flashing in the light.

Suddenly it suddenly made sense in a depressingly hilarious way.

“You’re jealous,” he pointed out, it was unbelievable really, Diego _hated_ training, he had said it so much. “You’re actually -”

“Shut up,” Diego hissed, looking behind him.

“You hate training,” Klaus chuckled.

“I did,” Diego agreed quickly. “It wasn’t good for children, but we aren’t children. We know what’s coming, we need to be prepared.”

“You’re crazy,” Klaus said gently, hoping that it didn’t rile Diego up too much more. He didn’t want the wrath of his siblings faced on him, but he also knew that Diego wasn’t being rational. “I am making sure dad isn’t looking at you all too closely, how many times did you tell me to just suck it up and keep training because that would help me?” Klaus asked, he hoped that the stab of annoyance hadn’t made itself known into his voice, but Diego’s arm had fallen from the wall.

“I didn’t -”

“You meant it,” Klaus interrupted the protest. “You all hated that I used drugs, and now I’m not, you’re all jealous. It’s one or the other, take your pick of what you prefer,” Klaus snapped. His voice had steadily gotten harsher, adrenaline building up his energy almost as good as the drugs used to, and he had to take a moment to breathe. He still was struggling to maintain his meditation and his emotions, but this was good practice. “Look, focus on Vanya, you all are more gentle than I am. Let me keep dad busy and things will work out for us all. I’ll manage the ghosts sober and Vanya will be trained.”

Diego just nodded silently, his eyes on Klaus’ face. He continued to stare after his brother as Klaus nodded back and left. Diego’s eyes bore into Klaus’ back and continued to stare down the hall he had disappeared into.


	9. Assess and Adapt

The days after the run-in with Diego, the siblings seemed to pull back even more. Klaus had found himself alone most days, shut in his room, the door pushed close as he sat crossed legged. The idea of training Vanya to meditate had sparked a memory, Grace had tried to teach him to build walls around him, an idea that it could help keep the ghosts away. His days often fell into trying to reach a calm state where his mind would stay still so he could try to let the ghosts back into his room.

He found it easier to practice alone, his father’s eyes felt too cold and imposing on his back. So Klaus did his practising until he managed to find a way to let the ghosts back in. The wisps turned into shapes and the shapes turned back into screaming people. It had taken two weeks to break down whatever barrier he had managed to erect, and it had been with an excited grin that he had darted out of his room. Uncaring of who saw him, his first stop had been his father’s office to share the good news.

The next day, Klaus took Luther’s training session to try and bring some of the ghosts forward and keep them visible.

Days continued to pass, and they turned into weeks - into months before Klaus was managing to bring different ghosts forward without needing to nap afterwards. He hadn’t told the others, but they hadn’t asked after his training either. Even the visits from Ben had dwindled. It was unfortunate, and Klaus missed the company, but he had made so much progress.

It had been a hostage situation, the first time the siblings saw just what he could do. Five had been injured during training, unable to join them, and the others had been at a loss as to how to assess just how many hostages were inside.

Klaus had turned to one of the forming ghosts, leaving them to bicker as he asked them what had happened.

“ _I was shot - I -_ ” the startled speech fell into a repetitive pattern, one that would have made Klaus cover his ears in the past. If he had let the man continue, he would have ended up screaming. Once they were stuck on a thought, they wouldn’t leave it, so Klaus interrupted, pushing just a little more to help the ghost form fully quicker than he would without help. He had noticed them gaining their sense of self quicker, almost able to speak as soon as the details of their face visualised.

“I will help,” Klaus promised, hating just how cold his body got with those words. It was expected though. _The non-living need aid Number Four_ , Reginald had said many times when Klaus had flinched away from their hands. “But I need you to focus, how many people are in there?”

“ _I don_ _’t know_ ,” the ghost seemed to refocus, snapping out of its spiral into madness.

“Klaus?” Ben said warily, bringing the attention of the other siblings.

“Can you check? Hostages and guns,” Klaus asked, ignoring the call of his name. They were here for a task. The ghost nodded and turned back to the building, striding forward with determination.

“Were you talking to a ghost?” Allison asked incredulously.

“What did you think my training was?” Klaus asked, keeping an eye on the wall that the ghost had disappeared into.

“What did it say?” Luther asked.

“He was shot,” Klaus scowled. “He’s checking the situation now, so wait. A few more minutes won’t hurt them.”

“He’s already dead, so they’ve hurt someone,” Diego muttered, and Klaus whirled around to stare at him.

“He had been dead for ten minutes,” Klaus snapped, relishing in how Diego flinched much in the similar way Klaus used to. “He was mostly formed, so it’s been a while, probably a warning to the others to scare them into behaving, there’s no other half-formed ghosts so no, it won’t hurt them just yet.”

“Klaus,” Ben reached forward to touch Klaus.

He didn’t manage to make contact with how quickly Klaus jumped back. He didn’t like being touched. Klaus initiated contact, not the other way around. Yet, the hurt that flashed in Ben’s eyes broke Klaus’ heart. This was the brother that he had spent years wishing he could touch, and now Klaus was acting like he was just another nobody.

“Ben,” he whispered, hoping it was enough, but the hurt had already been hidden behind his mask.

“I thought it took a while, not ten minutes,” Ben continued, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Perhaps that was what hurt more, that Ben felt the need to hide away again. He had seen his brother do the exact same over the years they had been together. It was a way to remind himself that he couldn’t reach out to help guide Klaus somewhere safe, or to ease the shaking as he vomited or struggled to stop the shivers that overtook him on the streets.

“The joy of developing powers baby,” the words were weak, but they brought a slight uptick of Ben’s lip.

“ _There_ _’s about ten people, three guns, five men holding them in the room_ ,” the male ghost was back.

Klaus relayed the information, pressing the ghost for more information once he was done. A brief layout of the building, the room that they were all in, and if he knew a clear way to them. Once a second door had been mentioned, Klaus knew they needed to split up.

Pulling on that energy, he twisted his hand, bringing the ghost forward. It would be enough to guide them the safe way while Klaus tried to go the unknown route. He ignored the shocked glances and the panic that had made itself known in his siblings eyes.

Ben was the only one that protested splitting up, which was how Klaus had gained someone following him through the rooms of the building, checking and asking the different ghosts to scout the areas ahead. It was draining, especially as the visible ghost grew further away. It felt as though Klaus was being pulled in two different directions, but he continued. They hadn’t tested distance, which seemed like an oversight, Klaus realised as he swayed on his feet.

Stumbling into the wall, Klaus had to stop to breathe, it was hard to concentrate, but he kept hold of the energy guiding his siblings.

“Klaus,” Ben whispered, he let his hands hover for a second before he gave in and helped pull Klaus back upright. “Let’s get you out.”

“No,” Klaus had protested, cutting the mission short was never an option. Well, that was a lie, as long as the mission continued, any injured party could retreat, but Klaus felt he had to prove himself.

They hadn’t made it to the others. In the end, it had been Luther that had found them, helping Ben pull Klaus up off the floor as he told his brother about what had happened. They had followed the ghost, the men had been easy to subdue, and Diego and Allison were helping the hostages. They had gotten worried when Klaus and Ben hadn’t arrived, so he had gone to look for them. The ghost had tried to help, but he had just disappeared during the fight.

Ben had been the one to theorise that it had been due to Klaus collapsing to the floor. Pulling Klaus up, Luther put him over his shoulder, heading straight outside. The others would be fine, but Klaus was the concern now that the hostages were safe. Diego and Allison could handle any straggling men trying to stop them, and Ben would keep him and Klaus safe as they left the building.

The press had taken pictures, shouting questions and concerns as Klaus didn’t respond from Luther’s hold.

When Klaus did wake, it was in the car, heading back to the Academy, his head rested on Allison’s lap, and lumpy legs acting as his bed.

“Wh’ h’pp’ned?” he slurred, almost humming at how nice Allison’s fingers in his hair felt.

“It seems you overexerted yourself Number Four,” Reginald said, and if it hadn’t been for his siblings holding him, he would have shot upright, hitting his head on the roof of the car. “What were you thinking?”

“They needed a guide, and splitting up was the smart thing, there could have been more people,” Klaus defended himself a little harsher than he possibly should have, and his brothers were silent, almost holding their breath.

No one raised their voice to their dad, not at this age, not after Five had disappeared. Five was the kid that pushed the boundaries, and then Klaus was that teen as the years passed, but after a mission, it was unheard of. They fell into their reporting stance and didn’t stray from the script. Allison just continued to look down at Klaus with a worried look as she subtly moved her fingers against his scalp.

“It seems that your abilities still need some developing,” Reginald mused, and the confusion was almost audible in the car. Even Pogo seemed confused at the sudden change of attitude to a child speaking out against him.

To Klaus, it wasn’t as strange as it used to be. He had found himself telling his father when he struggled, or when the ghosts weren’t working with him. It hadn’t been the first time that Klaus had shouted, his voice louder than the screams before he could force the ghosts away again. Reginald had only waited for Klaus to stop before demanding another attempt. _Reassess and adapt_ , as he would always say. It had only been once that Klaus had stormed out of his training, and Ben’s whole being had been so shaken and pale the following day. The whole week had been hard on his siblings, they had gone to meals silently, pale and weak. Klaus knew it was a statement to him, and he refused to allow it to happen again.

“Of course,” Klaus nodded, knowing that his next training sessions would only push him more, better him than his siblings again.

Klaus found himself with extra training over the following month, often beginning after dinner, until they hit curfew. Thankfully, he had still yet to be sent back to the mausoleum. Not that Klaus had the energy to protest any treatment he was receiving. He had learnt just how long he could hold a ghost forward, and they had tried to work on distance, leaving a ghost in the room with Reginald as Klaus walked away, they started with comfortable distances before pushing the boundaries. They still had yet to go the whole Academy between the ghost and Klaus. It was too much strain, and Klaus often found himself dizzy and weak from the effort it took.

Klaus’ siblings would show themselves more during this time, offering to help walk with him through the halls, and letting him lean against them when the dizziness grew too strong to keep going. He hadn’t fainted again, but he wondered just how long it would be until it happened. It didn’t seem too far away yet.

“Master Klaus, may I have a moment?” Pogo asked one day, managing to stop Klaus before he joined the others for lunch.

“Sure,” Klaus agreed, following Pogo further away from the door. He was hungry, but Pogo didn’t often ask for much, so it was always worth hearing him out. “What’s up Pogo?”

Pogo regarded him for a moment, his eyes taking in every part of Klaus’ face, the bags under his eyes and the way he had seemingly thinned over the past year.

“I must admit I am… concerned,” Pogo said slowly. “You have come a long way with your ability, but I fear that you are forgetting that your siblings are here for you, you were all so close. I notice that you have been distancing yourself from them, and I wondered what the reason may be. If there has been a disagreement, we can rectify it.”

Klaus wondered what had brought this intervention on, Reginald hadn’t seemed concerned. The others had actually been around him more often than they had been before.

“We still spend time together,” Klaus said half-heartedly, because in truthfulness, they didn’t speak during the evenings they were together. They often walked in silence, unsure of just what to say. So much had changed from their childhood - even in that week before the end of the world, they hadn’t really reconnected. These people weren’t the same ones that Klaus knew, they were jaded and aware of the world. They were different to the people Klaus spent time with, and it left him unsure and feeling even more distant from his siblings, but he liked their company. Feeling lonely when with people wasn’t a _sane_ thing.

“Perhaps a trip together would do you all some good,” Pogo suggested. “It has been a while since you’ve spent time as regular children.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Klaus said instantly, but it answered the long-lasting question on how they had managed to sneak out so often. They hadn’t. They had been allowed to leave, perhaps by Pogo, but it wasn’t as secret as they had thought it was.

“Perhaps I was mistaken by the identical children sneaking out of the house,” Pogo deadpanned.

“I’ll pass on the message, but we’re all focusing on what dad wants, so we probably wont,” Klaus pointed out, it was with a single shoulder shrug. As far as he knew, the weekly meetings had stopped as Vanya continued to work on her control. It was a slow battle, but one they were all focused on.

“You alright bro?” Diego asked, he had turned the corner to see the two of them talking. There had been something in Klaus’ posture that showed just how tense he was, and it was enough that he broke the silence that Diego had settled into.

He knew that he had been in the wrong when he had cornered Klaus. He just was too ashamed to admit that Klaus had been right. Jealousy was a bitterly bad look on him, and one that he had thought he had gotten past. His bitter childhood - although using the silence as a way to look over his own actions, he realised just how much he had deluded himself on that.

“Ye - Yeah,” Klaus stuttered for a second, his head swinging over to observe Diego carefully.

“Consider what I said,” Pogo said, ignoring Diego. “It might be a good idea to spend the evening outside of your bedroom today.”

“Come on,” Diego said, raising his voice again, waiting for Klaus to turn towards him and give him his attention.

Klaus looked between Pogo and Diego for a second, digesting just what had happened. Pogo would never go against their father, it wasn’t in his nature. He seemed to prefer watching with hidden unease as things happened around him. The likelihood of this whole moment being a test seemed unreasonable as well, even though the thought had crossed his mind. Reginald had never suggested that they _bond_. He ignored the needs of children, allowing Grace to cater to them where she could.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Klaus said, knowing he wouldn’t say anything to the others about the suggestions. He gave Pogo a grin, before letting it slip away. It hadn’t occurred to Klaus just how often he would push a smile up on his lips to let it go as soon as it’s job had been done. Turning to his brother, Klaus’ indifference mask was back in place, although it seemed to feel less like a mask as the days continued on.

“What did he want?” Diego hissed once they had turned a corner.

“Oh, so we’re talking again?” Klaus asked. He tried to ignore the spark of amusement as Diego winced. “He just told me to slow down a little, enjoy my youth more.”

“Yeah right,” Diego laughed, brushing over the first comment. They never spoke about things that happened between them, once they moved on, it was like it never happened. “What did he really want?”

Turning his head slightly, Klaus considered the options that were laid out in front of him. Honesty wasn’t an option, no one would believe him - not that they did often. Using training as a way to cover the distrust would only bring jealousy back into Diego’s scowl.

“I had asked dad for a day off, Pogo was just telling me that the message had been passed on,” Klaus lied, he had rarely spent a day without trying to better himself in some way. The silent halls of the Academy showed just how well he was doing.

“If you wanted a day off, you should have said,” Diego huffed. “We’re all here to cover for you. We’ll sort something out.”

Klaus just hummed, letting the noise draw whatever answer Diego might want to hear.

The alarm blared above them, causing them both to curse before turning to sprint back to their rooms. They were all stood together, ready to leave within a few minutes, ready to face the next challenge ahead of them. It was close by, and there were already screams audible when they drove closer.

It was an open space, a group of masked adults, all holding various guns, shooting up into the air and towards the crowds. It was during what seemed to be a market, but the teenagers didn’t bother to focus on the details. They set into action.

_Assess the situation. Do not panic, Number Four._

The words would almost always repeat when Klaus had a task to do. His siblings had always been a little better at handling guns, and his past avoided them. He settled on trying to help the potential victims leave, evacuate the area to help his siblings deal with the chaos, but just as he turned he caught sight of one of the men aiming at Ben and rage burnt through him. It wasn’t time for Ben to die, it wasn’t anywhere near when Ben had died, so how dare this _thing_ even try to aim at him. Focused on his prey, Klaus narrowed his eyes. He didn’t know what he wanted to happen, he just needed the gun away, off-target just slightly to keep his brother alive. As though he was being guided by his own anger, Klaus pushed his left hand out, before pulling it back towards his chest, his fingers tightening around the air. He wasn’t going to let Ben die yet.

Klaus watched indifferent as the gun moved to himself, the focus off Ben as the shot rang out. The man who fired, gasped, his free hand moving to clutch at his chest, his eyes wide and Klaus only heard water raging in his ears. The sounds of the fight faded as he watched the man stumble, a knife hitting him in the chest, as Klaus staggered back slightly. His eyes were still on the man who had no chance of survival, he was groaning but the sound didn’t carry over the wind roaring in his ears. There was a ticking in his head as he watched the man bleed. He’d be dead soon.

“Klaus!”

Pain began to bloom in his chest.

Looking down at his reddening shirt, Klaus could only think, ‘ _the bastard shot me_ ,’.


	10. Jefferson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this uses a character I established in chapter 6 of The Strangeness of Four, it isn't necessary to read it to understand what's happening, but for a little more about the character, you can see that (and frankly, I am insanely proud of chapter six of that story).
> 
> I'm a week late, which I apologise for, but I needed a week away to just focus on work a little. Side note, I now have two freelance jobs, so hopefully I'll have a more steady income than I did have, which is good! I feel a little more like a real adult now.

Klaus blinked, his head felt heavy and thick. It was quiet around him, but the pain that he felt made him aware of how depressingly sober he was. It wasn’t the worst thing he felt, but it lingered and almost soaked through his muscles. He hated being in pain, although he hadn’t realised just how blissful being healthy was until he was back in this body. His adult-self would often hurt in some sense, either hunger pains, headaches, or some injury from the street.

Turning his head, Klaus met the eyes of a very familiar ghost. One that he didn’t think he’d see again.

His breath left him. He didn’t look any different - but most of the time, ghosts didn’t change. His leg was still bleeding through the bandages, a _forever wound_ , certainly not one that could have gone home with. Klaus had wondered why they hadn’t amputated it, but in the middle of the forest, it probably would have killed him quicker.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Klaus muttered, not caring how young he was. He lifted his right hand, flashing the ghost _HELLO_ with a lazy grin. He didn’t remember seeing him before, but Klaus had been high for all of his teenage years. He doubted that he’d have remembered him, even when suddenly faced with the living version of a ghost.

“ _You_ _’re the ghost boy_?” the ghost asked, his voice rough and as scratchy as Klaus remembered. It was almost as though he was back in Afghanistan, even the ghostly tint didn’t seem unfamiliar, since the idiot had managed to kill himself.

“Come off it Jefferson, I know who you are, why are you here?” Klaus sighed.

“Klaus, Mr. Hargreeves is aware you are once again awake, he’ll be expecting you in his office, you are very lucky that your injuries weren’t life threatening. You’ll likely be sore for a while, but nothing vital was hit,” Grace smiled.

“ _You_ _’re too young to know me, even if I believed the nonsense about going back to the future_ ,” Jefferson huffed, but the bite that normally followed his words to Klaus was missing. It was almost depressing to not hear the snark his friend used to have.

“I’ll go right now mom,” Klaus smiled back to her, but his eyes moved back onto Jefferson. He sat up, groaning as his head spun. The movement made his chest ache and burn, but he ignored it. He had been hurt worse before, so while it wasn’t comfortable, he would deal with it. Plus, Reginald won’t enjoy waiting longer than needed for Klaus to go to him. His first steps were uneven and clumsy, but he regained his footing before Grace could move closer in worry.

“I have a lot to tell you, and it seems even more unbelievable,” Klaus chuckled, he ignored his robot mother, knowing that she’d just assume he was talking to another ghost. “How did you find me?” he asked, knowing that he wouldn’t have time to catch Jefferson up to date with everything before he made it to Reginald’s office.

“ _The troops that survived gossip like old ladies, Jones was the one that made the connection_ ,” Jefferson said, shrugging with a what-can-you-do attitude. “ _He got on the phone and everyone agreed you_ _’re probably our Klaus_.”

“Like old ladies?” Klaus hummed. They were all gossipy bitches back in camp, the fact that stuck wasn’t surprising. “So you came to check on me? I’m flattered.”

“ _Chaz wants to get in touch, but the others talked him outta it, said it_ _’d be weird for him to reach out to a teenage boy_.”

Klaus laughed, he could almost imagine Chaz marching down the street and grabbing his arm as he had in the past. It wasn’t uncommon for Klaus to be marched through the camp by someone, Dave had even done it a few times. The pang of pain in his chest wasn’t only because of the wound, the memory of Dave often carved it’s own place into existence. Klaus tried to focus on the conversation, admitting that it did come across differently with a teenager being on the receiving end.

“ _Exactly_ ,” Jefferson laughed. “ _So how do you remember - know? I don_ _’t know time travel is fucking weird_.”

“I can’t explain it all now, off to see the old man,” Klaus said quietly, trying to watch out for anyone wandering the halls, this wouldn’t be explained easily, random conversations weren’t strange, but _familiarity_ wasn’t known to be heard as part of the conversation with Klaus’ ghosts. “I’ll explain it all later, and you can call me crazy as much as you want, and you will,” Klaus promised. He remembered just how unbelieving Jefferson had been before he died about Klaus. They hadn’t gotten along to begin with. Jefferson had been offended by everything Klaus had been. He had been eager to call Klaus a pantywaist - someone who wasn’t tough, and most likely queer. Klaus hadn’t minded, but Dave had taken it personally.

“ _We were all worried when you disappeared_ ,” Jefferson admitted quietly.

Klaus swallowed thickly, and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything back. It wasn’t often, even now with the whole group of siblings acting more like a family, that Klaus was on the receiving end of such _nice_ things. From Jefferson as well, the man that had told Klaus on his deathbed to settle down with a nice woman who took forever to get ready after he got out of the war. The man who had never stopped calling Klaus names, but the hate that had filled the words in the beginning turned to fond exasperation.

Klaus wanted to cling to the ghost, keep his last connection to the war in his life. Klaus had lost Dave’s tags, and he had tried so hard to move past that and keep Dave’s memory close, but seeing Jefferson, Klaus just wanted to grasp hold on everything he could connecting to Dave and refuse to let it go.

“ _Have you thought about seeing the others_?” Jefferson asked, sneaking a glance at the teen as he limped alongside him. It hurt to see just how uneven the soldiers normally even gait had gotten.

“I didn’t even consider that they’d be around still,” Klaus said softly. He wouldn’t know where to start, or even how to explain himself to his old friends. The idea of seeing them made his breath uneven, but he didn’t want to admit that weakness. “Listen, when we get to the old man, stay quiet, introducing you would make things worse.”

He saw Jefferson nod from the corner of his eye. It was comforting to fall in step with the soldier again, striding forward. The pain even seemed to dull to the back of his mind. Aches and pains were normal during the war, but they had to go on, and the Umbrella Academy was much the same, but Klaus always found it easier to ignore the aches when he was around others. The pain in his chest was making itself known with each step, but as Grace had said, it hadn’t hit anything important.

The two walked silently, and Klaus only hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door in front of him. Like always, Reginald didn’t look up from his book when Klaus entered, nor did he speak until Klaus stood before the desk in silence. It was a pure power play.

“I have heard the report from the others,” Reginald began, and Klaus felt something twist inside of him. Jefferson seemed to tense beside Klaus, but Klaus had enough practice in ignoring ghosts around people that didn’t need to know who he could see.

“He was going to shoot Number Six,” Klaus began, knowing that he didn’t need to report the number dead - he didn’t _know_ the number dead or if any of the dead were innocents. Plus, it was obvious that he was aware of Klaus being shot. That’s where Klaus’ knowledge ended, so he focused on the circumstances, needing to explain his actions. “I made a move to intercept the shot,” Klaus’ words were monotone, but he focused on Reginald’s face. There was something there, behind the blank expression. His eyes were _intense_.

“How did you intercept the shot?” Reginald queried.

“I’m not sure,” Klaus said slowly. “I just acted on instinct, I was angry that they even tried to shoot him, and then he turned to me and shot. It was almost like I was able to pull something,” Klaus explained, his eyes falling to his hand. He had lifted it at some point as he spoke. Rubbing his fingers against his thumb, Klaus covered up the _GOODBYE_ that stood out. The man would have died no matter what, and Klaus didn’t care. Whatever he had been doing would have worked if Diego’s knives hadn’t hit their target.

Klaus looked back up to Reginald, meeting the almost excited stare.

“It seems as though your abilities are developing further than we expected,” Reginald gave Klaus a slight smile, and he hated how it made something settle inside of him. Klaus spent his whole life rebelling against Reginald’s praise, and just in the past year, Klaus had found himself craving it. “We will continue training once you are healed.”

Klaus nodded, somewhat surprised that they were waiting, he supposed that Reginald didn’t want to compromise the potential that Klaus might show.

“In the mean time, it is crucial that you not overexert yourself,” Reginald had continued, and Klaus’ breath exhaled shakily at the demand. “Refrain from practising your abilities until you are healed, your training will consist of meditation. You are excused from missions. I expect daily progress from you.”

“ _I thought you told us he was a jerk_ ,” Jefferson asked, making Klaus twitch out of surprise. The action was noted by his father.

“Sorry, it seems like the blocks were brought down,” Klaus said quickly. As much leeway as his father was giving him, it wasn’t worth risking how far it could go. “I’ll focus on healing and meditation.”

“Indeed,” Reginald nodded, returning his attention back to the book, where he picked up a pen and began to write again, no doubt recording what just happened.

Taking it as his cue to leave, Klaus turned, trying to keep his breath steady to not jostle his chest too much. Thankfully, Jefferson kept quiet until Klaus was able to gingerly lay on his bed. He probably should have gone back to Grace, but the longing for the privacy of his own room was too tempting.

“ _So what happened_?”

“Honestly, my life is just crazy right now, I don’t think I even believe it. It could just be a huge hallucination. Some drug coma that I never woke up from. Severe drug abuse does that to you,” Klaus pointed out, it wasn’t needed, because Jefferson knew just as well as he did what drugs did to people that overdid them.

“ _I do miss that about_ _‘Nam_ ,” the ghost said wistfully. “ _It was a good way of ignoring all the death_.”

“This body hasn’t had the hard stuff before but my brain wants it,” Klaus admitted. He hadn’t been as honest about how much he craved the drugs, he had downplayed the desire to Ben, even through all the years. “Basically, days after I left you, the world ended and we tried to jump back here, and somehow it worked.”

“ _How does that work_?” Jefferson asked, he had sat on the chair, turned to watch Klaus. “ _How come they haven_ _’t been around_?”

“They’re probably in training, I’m not sure how long I’ve been out. We aren’t _close_ ,” Klaus sighed. He hadn’t really spoken of his family outside of stories that the others didn’t believe. The only reason any of them had, was after they died. Other than Dave. “Have you seen him?” Klaus couldn’t help but ask.

“ _Sorry Spook, I hoped he would show up but-_ ”

“He didn’t,” Klaus sighed. The pain running through his body seemed to double. It always hurt to think about him. He hoped that Dave was somewhere nice, that he was happy and loved - even though it brought him physical pain to think about.

Deciding to do his best to ignore it, Klaus fell back into his storyteller mode. He told Jefferson everything he remembered about the end of the world, and how they decided to jump back. He even told his friend about the past several months, how his abilities were developing and changing. Although, there was still a handful of things that Klaus kept to himself.

“ _Jesus Spook, how do you get into these things_?” Jefferson made a move to run his hand over his face, but stopped himself with a huff.

“God hates me,” Klaus pointed out, although the inside joke didn’t hit. He hadn’t told anyone but Ben about that adventure - and he doubted that anyone else would ever find out.

“ _You_ _’re hurting_.”

“No shit, I got shot,” Klaus laughed. It was bitter and short, but that was how he protected himself.

“ _You know what I mean_ ,” Jefferson sighed. He leant forward from where he sat, staring at Klaus with such an intensity that it unnerved him.

“Fuck I want some dew, it might actually shut you up,” Klaus snapped, unwilling to let Jefferson see the part of him that he hid.

“ _You completely stopped and sobered up then_?”

“Unfortunately,” Klaus admitted.

Jefferson seemed to understand that Klaus wanted to stop talking, he would normally wait for drugs to be involved, but taking the cue, Jefferson started talking about the others from their unit that survived. He ignored those that didn’t make it home. Telling him about the families that started, the children that were brought into the world, and the catch-up meetings that they had every few years.

It was comforting to Klaus to hear how they moved on, how the scars of war eased and people survived the experience. He didn’t respond to the words, ignoring the itch to ask how the others died - when they died. If he stayed, could he have saved them? They were the questions that he was scared to voice.

Klaus ended up falling asleep to the sound of Jefferson talking. It was soothing and for a moment, Klaus felt as happy as he did in the past.


End file.
